Tuesday, November 07, 2006

On Perfecting Perfection


Yesterday Kristy Alley showed off her fantastic 55 year old body in a bikini on Oprah.

Today I get my braces off after two years.

Things I will not miss about braces:
-Really odd men, coming up to me in clubs and saying in low hissy voices, you look sexy with braces…um.....no! No one looks sexy in braces, unless you’re a child molester.
-People wondering what was wrong to my teeth to begin with. The same people who would suggest repetitively that I needed to fix them when I was a kid.
-Having half my dinner stuck in my teeth.
-Going on dates and obsessively gargling in the washroom.
-Those mini brushes they give you to clean your teeth.
-The elastics that made me feel like spider man.

Things I will miss:
-Not being forced to go down…..men are always a little trepidacious when you got steel in your mouth, though it doesn’t stop them from trying.
-my ever so hot dentist, peering down on me every four weeks, with his sexy brown eyes
-free tooth brushes and dentist gadgets
-bonding with the other adult braces victims….i had a mini support group going for a while…
-my mother is going to actually expect me to find a husband now….ugh!

So today’s my swan party….and everyone is invited….!

11 comments:

Stephen Bess said...

Congratulations! I know that you must be very happy. Let's see that gorgeous smile! :)

gooders said...

He he he, I have invisilines and people always stare in my mouth cos they think they saw something... and on a closer inspection they did -- and then the q's. It may be easier if I just had steelers!

Bw

bitsandgiggles said...

Congratulations! I had Invisaligns since last year and am totally happy to be rid of them. Enjoy the party!

Crankyputz said...

Thank you, Thank you all. The teeth look so fabulous, that I have this goofy smile on, and every passing person is acosted with me opening wide and trying showing off my new mouth.

Gooders no worries, the two years pass faster than you think. And the end result is well worth the pain.

aarond said...

HAHAHAHAH congrats on getting the Fences off! How long did you have to wear them, because I guarantee that my time in braces was much longer than yours (so believe me I know the pain of braces - and kissing others with braces). Is the pic in your profile you? Because if that is you plus the braces issue, I do not think you need my help with the image makeover...unless of course you are looking for more attitude and since you have read both my blogs I am sure you know I have a tonne of that to spare...but based on peripheral pix evidence your image so far is fine...now how are you man stealing skills...and yes I know using (...) is not a substitute for correct punctuation, but I am lazy.

Abeni said...

Congrats girlfriend. I should have done the braces thing as well but figured am not gonna bother in my adult years.

Crankyputz said...

Hey Aarond, had them on for two years. The pics isn't actually of me, but yes I do have a similar body, rib cage and all....
As for the attidude and man stealing....i'd like to think my attidude is sweet, yet mindful of my true greatness (har har) and as far as the man stealing, there are just too men out there to covet someone else's...

Abeni: it was such a painful experience, worse as an adult i think. I often wondered why i didn't just get dentures...but the end results were worth the pain....

aarond said...

EIGHT years! I am still in therapy to get over it

Crankyputz said...

Eight? Your dentist should be shot.....!

CoolDestiny said...

I remember wanting braces as a child ... but have perfect teeth!! When my best friend had to get them and I saw how painful it was, I thanked God for my perfect teeth! I still think they are kinda cool though. And it's not so bad now with the invisible ones.

So, will you have to wear your retainer now??

Crankyputz said...

Trust me it was a huge pain.

I get in two weeks, so no sleep overs for a little while....i paid too much money to not wear it.