Happy Endings

Ps. I love you, Over my Dead Body and Enchanted were among my movie choices this weekend; a departure from my usual ‘Blood in blood’ out choices. With each movie I was more cynical laughing at the characters who were wishing and hoping for their mushy perfect happy ending.

Then I realised how cynical I’ve become. So when LL messaged me on face book asking if I wanted to go see a movie, I thought, I should do this, I should try this whole ‘dating’ thing out.

I messaged him back that I would be in his area for work today, and was wondering if he would like to have a coffee instead, since I would be getting off early. He agreed and like clockwork we meet in a mall parking lot at 3.00 pm. He picks me in a new BMW, and he is looking cute as hell. And I get a little hopeful. I did notice that he had one of those tacky blue tooth devices in his ear, but I was being hopeful so I let it go.

He says, “So where do you want to go?I say, “Where ever, I’m not picky.”
So we drive around for five minutes and then we pull into a driveway.

And I look up.

And Blink.

And Blink again.

Because I see a sign that distinctly says “Motel 6”

And then I look around. Because it dawns on me that the only place I’ve ever seen that sign is on that show ‘cheaters.’

And then I look over at him and say, “Why are we here?”

And he says, “What’s wrong? We can just kiss.”

And I say, “Are you crazy?”

Then I roar at him to drive me back to my car.

And I sit in it for twenty minutes carefully combing over our conversations trying to find the defining moment where he assumed I was Motel 6 material.

Conclusion : Happy Endings do exist.....just not the kind in the movies.

Long weekends in Canada are a big deal.

They are the promise of ‘time.’ Time to catch up on the laundry that’s piling up, cooking the meat you’ve been thawing and re-freezing over and over again, watching those piles of movies, reading the last chapter of the book you started a month ago, seeing friends you haven’t seen in ages because you accidentally became a work-a-holic.

My weekend went something like this:

6.30 pm Friday night…. on the subway heading to work. Our final phase is in action and I had accidentally volunteered to oversee the nightly activities of our work crews…

8.30 pm…Anxiously looking for the ‘shuttle bus’ advertised on the beer and wine festival flyer…..

9.00 pm….Arrival….the festival is in a new location at Downview park and is a royal flop. The crowd is sparse compared to last year’s craziness at the Distillery district. But I am determined…determined to make this a good night….I go over cash in my 20 dollar bill in exchange for the little gold coins….only I am persuaded by my friend to only cash in a ten….she reminds me that I am single and I should really be more hopeful….it dawns on me that all this working has indeed gone to my head…

11.30 pm….The room is swaying. Turns out that I haven’t lose my mojo after all; instead I somehow have turned my measly 10 gold coins into some uncountable number of shots and fruity drinks. I have also befriended the sweet bartender, who proceeds to lavish our party with shots the rest of the night.

12.00 pm to 2 pm….Shameful drunk dialling and other embarrassing activities ensue

Saturday-I have the hangover from hell. There will be no kick boxing today.

Actually nothing else happened Saturday, besides feelings of overwhelming shame and regret…..stern talking to’s from my inner self, contemplations of psychiatry….and so on. Promises to move on, stern examination of why it is time to move on, acceptance that moving on is the only option….there is also watching of corny movies and singing along passionately with songs like Xfactor, Take a Bow (the Madonna version) and Bon Jovi…

Followed by two hours of intensive and rejuvenating shopping.

Folks whenever the world seems to be a horrible place…the remedy to your pains is shopping and sleep. Everything seems a little better after a good snooze.

Sunday-Home with the parents for some R&R and grub.

8.00 pm-Two of the married friends come over. Their hubby’s have abandoned them for a bachelor party in Montreal. S has abandoned me for greener pastures. We decide that the only place we know still happening on a long weekend is Babalulu’s.

10.30 pm-Getting our groove on, Latin Luver (LL) makes a guest appearance.
He is scrumptious. He’s got a little goatee thing going on. Of course he’s still miffed that I never called him back. So we begin to dance, and he’s being all extra, singing loudly (I get it your Spanish, you know the lyrics…whopeedeedooo!) smiling at all the girls in sight. I return the favour, dancing it up with all in sight…and at the end of the night he walks over and hands me a card and says, you better call this time, we have unfinished business…..I smile…and like my teacher at St. Mary’s used to say…perhaps.
So what does a single girl do in this day and age….when she realises that the time to move on is here, only she isn’t all that into the person sent by the gods? She adds him on his facebook ofcourse…

GC’s Post:

The reason I haven’t been posting is because I’ve been working till about 8 every night, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is fire up my laptop.

While work is great, my boss Big Foot is reaching new levels of craziness. Working my butt off, a lot of the other folks in the company have taken it upon themselves to acknowledge my work via emails to some of the senior folk. This has had an adverse affect on my boss. Today she sat me today to tell me that all the good vibes coming my way means that everyone thinks I am weak. I didn’t get the correlation and told her so. It’s a shame, because I love my job right now.

The following quote comes to mind: “I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble”

While there are piles of bills unpaid, voicemails unanswered and many an invitation declined lately, the bright spot was this weekend, when I volunteered at a fundraiser held by a local women’s center. The fundraiser was at Hazelton Mall, which for all you out of town folks is a very uppity mall, in the middle of Yorkville. I was expecting to do the usual stuff, like welcome people, or sell raffle tickets, but instead was asked to model in their mini fashion show. I had the pleasure of meeting some of the girls from Twenty Something TV. They were of course gorgeous and perfect as TV girls are! We had to wear some of the most hideous designer outfits ever seen, and auction them off at prices that made me choke a little. It was a great afternoon, turns out volunteering is more fun when you get your hair done and snazzy make up to go with it. I also got picked up by the sexy photographer! And yes the waiter……

So that’s my rather boring life in a nut shell…

I am reading a great book, that i left at work! Name to follow. Though I confess that its taken me three weeks to get through chapter 1....

Till my next breather…..

On the Brink...

I haven’t been in the posting mood lately.

Maybe it’s the gorgeous weather we’re having, that makes me rather sit in a spot of sun, than spend an unnecessary moment at the computer.

Maybe its all the driving to and from our new office out in the boonies, that’s putting a damper on my spirits. Btw anyone in Toronto seen the beautiful temple off the 427 North? Are curious passer by’s allowed to visit??

Maybe it’s my newly discovered dedication to the gym. “Dancing with the star’s body” here I come.

Maybe it’s my lack of inspiration lately. My single, hot, sex in the city life seems to have slowed down. Past men, are reminding me why they are part of my ‘past.’ The ‘in the moment men’ have slipped into the past. And the future ‘man-en’ isn’t here yet. Also the fun friends in my life are slowly falling to the wayside. I guess its life catching up with us, but I still think that it should be irie to have impromptu bbq’s on a Sunday….without having to book people a month in advance…..

Maybe it’s because I’m on the brink, the brink of a possibly great and interesting summer, the brink of a possible new career, the brink of possibilities in general…. On the brink but not quite there yet……

To The Society Responsible for the Maintenance of Hope,

I am need of a reminder.

Please forward me your very best agent at once!

Sincerely,
Cranky Putz

You know its summer in Toronto when:

~Your will do any kind of indoor work evaporates
~The Catholic Girl kilts come out in full force sans knee length stockings
~Flip Flops!!
~Your entire day at work consists of plotting, scheming and four conference calls with your work gals, to contrive a way for the three of you to ‘innocently’ leave early, to go shopping!
~You eat your first hot dog with fried onions.
~You break out the razor and give your legs the satiny finish they deserve….they are so soft you slip hand down every now and then to ‘cop a feel.’
~You buy shorts in anticipation of the upcoming parties
~Your condo turns on the air-conditioning after an emergency meeting with the board of directors
~All the local grocery flyers break out their 6 page spread of the latest and greatest fare for the BBQ
~You realize its time to give naked girl at the gym some competition
~You begin to dream of salsa boat cruises
~You receive flyers for hot sweaty soca fetes, and you don’t think to yourself…..maybe another time….instead you mentally assess your closet for that perfect skimpy outfit, you know you can’t wear anywhere else

~Your secretly praying for a TTC strike that will go on for a couple of weeks!

Cranky’s Updates:

I started these two weeks ago…..

Bullet Points are the coolest thing out there. Grant, I think you need to do a post on why bullet points are a winner….

There will be Blood is an odd movie.

Friday night went out with Alien Hands on a double date with his broker and girlfriend. Good times, accidentally bumped into his ex, only slow little me, didn’t realize and mistook her for a common friend. I was gregariously saying hi, until I noticed the uncomfortable looks from the other two. Even though she was with her new beau, I couldn’t help feel bad, to meet the new chick (sort of/kind of, but she doesn’t know that) with the old friends. Ekk.

Foodie Review, We ate a place called Foxley’s. We had to put our names on a two hour wait list first, (they don’t take reservations) so we ended up going to a conveniently located tequila bar next door. (Personally I think both are owned by the same owner.) After a few tequila shots, we hazily walked over to Foxley’s, and like drunken loud mouths demanded a few plates of their widely reviewed ribs. The food was amazing, the ribs were delicious, the ducks had an amazing flavour and tender texture, and the wine was marvelous! It was worth the wait.

Been working some crazy hours. I am actually dreaming about work these days. One of our team members, who joined us for a total of two weeks, had gone on stress leave. Apparently my boss Big Foot was too much for her to handle. Let’s see I’ve been doing this for about a year now, that must entitle me to a month of stress leave right??? I have been appointed her unofficial replacement. It’s like a promotion with out a raise, a title change or any recognition of any kind. To quote Ryan Seacreast when asked about how much money he’s made this year so far…. “It’s not about the money” Sigh!

Miami boy’s friend emailed, saying they ‘might’ be back for Caribanna. Must pick up pace at the gym.

My gym is full of characters. Naked girl, is a hot Latina who wears the littlest amount of clothing allowed at a women’s gym. She is gorgeous, and perfect in every way. I find myself ogling at her shamelessly. She is my new aspiration; I must look like her one day!

On Tuesday nights there is a class called Rock Hard Abs and Butts. It’s taught by a petite Ukrainian woman. She makes us sit on an exercise ball, and do all sorts of crazy things. Most resemble acts usually reserved for a bedroom. It’s actually funny to see other woman awkwardly straddling the ball and bouncing around. Felt a little pity for their hubbies, if their ball action is any indication of their abilities in the bedroom, well bwoy, I should teach a class haha!

My culinary skills are improving exponentially. Even though I am working crazy hours, I’ve managed to roast a pot roast and a whole chicken in the last two weeks. I finally realize why roasts are usually Sunday meals. They take forever to cook. Tuesday night I got in at about 7.30 pm(early!) and began to roast the beef. Two hours later in utter desperation there was Cranky with her fork and steak knife slyly cutting out the ends since they were the old parts that were cooked!

Apart from that I am learning a ton about the world of office construction like the politics of seating plans, what are gaylords, swing space, the optimal dimensions of office cubicles, how important supply draws are to group administrators, and other things I could go on about ad naseum.

Is it a low or high point in life when your working at 11.30 on a Saturday night and now even feeling like your missing out on some big party somewhere??

Note from Father Putz to Mother Putz

Haven't Slept for three nights
require my bed for that ultimate sleep
forgiven you for all the torture you are putting me through
sorry for all the bad things i said to you
going for anger management course from tomorrow at the bar

I thought this was so cute.

My apologies for the lack of posts.