Thursday, January 04, 2007

On Sales

I bought a laptop a couple of days ago.

Well actually …at first………..I bought two.

First I bought a dell. It was efficient, ‘conservative and extremely well priced.’

Then I got home and I hated it, because it was ‘efficient, conservative and extremely well priced.’

It was definitely not me.

I felt like I was in that Mac commercial, and instead of getting the cute young guy, I had inadvertently bought the old man.

I panicked. I called and cancelled the order.

But it was in my blood. I wanted a laptop. Please note the word ‘want.’ I did not need a laptop. Truth be known, I do nothing on the computer besides blog with you sweet folks, surf the net for dirty stories, chat with friends on msn and obsessively check all four email accounts. Yet I wanted a laptop. My own personal Gigabites of space.

So first thing Friday, I go hunting. I walk into the apple store at the Eaton Center. If you have ever been into the Apple Store, you know that ‘Cool’ is the only adjective that perfectly describes the store. The lighting is a cool white, the people are dressed in cool ‘we are the shit’ uniforms. The attitude of the SAs is also cool….a little too cool.

(Listen up people in Sales, the next paragraphs are for you.

I am your perfect consumer. I dare say, Your target audience. I am the one you want to sell things to. Why? Well, simply I have the largest disposable income of any group around. I am young, I have a great job, I have no kids. My wants are endless. Target me.)

Do not do the following:


I wander the apple store, and finally engage an SA. The SA gives me the once over. I ask, ‘Why should I buy an apple.’ Truth be known, I wanted the apple. Why? Because I love my ipod, and if an apple works like an ipod, I wanted it. The SA gazed at me blankly and said, these are what we have. She rattled off numbers, she whispered prices and then she said, ‘Well do you want one?”

She didn’t sell me anything.

I went to the Sony Store. Vio’s have sleek designs, come in beautiful colors and all in all they look hot. Latino salesman, (who I was on the verge of making googly eyes to,) pointed me in the direction of laptops, rattled off specs, pointed to prices…..with out a smidge of enthusiasm. I half expected him to Yawn. Perhaps my youthful looks had dampened my purchasing power aura. I decided to throw in an incentive. I lowered my voice and said, “I want to buy one today, What’s the best deal you got? What else would I get with it.” The SA looked at me with his potentially cute face, and said, ‘What you see is what you get.’ All potential lost; the sale, as well as a few minutes of quality flirtation.

Sigh……Folks Remember those days when people tried to sell you their mothers as soon as you walked into a store? What happened to those days?? What’s with all this ‘no pressure’ mottos?? No pressure = Laziness on the part of sales people.

Despondent, I entertained thought of going back to work and giving in to all the Naysayers who said I didn’t need a laptop. But I decided to give it one last shot.

I went to Best buy. At Best Buy I met Waled. Waled was a cute boy, 23, from Saudi Arabia, raised in Canada. Waled was a sales man. Within five minutes, he knew where I worked, my favorite colors, where I went to school, and much much more. (You can’t sell something to someone without knowing a bit about them.) Waled sized me up as a frilly consumer. He began to point out laptops not only with their specs, but for their colors, their little gadgets, their size…..Waled then offered me a deal. He offered me a laptop bag, a mouse, a router, a free cd……the list was endless.

I ended up buying from Waled, not because the prices were better or the product was insanley good. I bought from Waled because he pretended he cared about how I spent my thousand dollars. In Sales, pretending you care about what I buy, is akin to making me fall in love with you.

On another note, I just got a pimple….a big red one, wassup with that?

11 comments:

Abeni said...

I hear you. I don't like sales persons that crowd you but I like one that at least pretends to care.

Marika said...

Oooh, congratulations on your shiny new toy!

I hate buying anything off anyone who is younger than me. This is growing increasingly hard...

Mani said...

lol, cranky I love that story. If I were the bosses of the other 2, I'd fire them.

Some people just aren't made to work in sales, tsk, tsk.

bitsandgiggles said...

I love it when I'm led to believe the SA actually cares. The guy I bought my car from STILL calls me on my birthday...and I know he only calls because his PDA tells him to, but it still means something anyway. Hhhhruump.

Good luck with the new laptop!

Jdid said...

a new laptop i'm insanely jealous

you go Waled, play on pimp :-)

I actually havent been into the Apple store yet but it just gives off this we're better than you vibe. I like salesmen who can tell you stuff about the product and why it would work for you. I find that alot of customer service reps are idiots. I've gone into places to make sure buys and just been turned off by the idiot in sales who dealt with me.

GC (God's Child) said...

Waled cares how you spend your money--he cares very much and he's hoping you'll come back real soon.
I can't believe he threw in a router. That's so hot.

kevian said...

u song like me when I bought my car i bought a car to pay off easily,in good condition and burns gas well.. but now I don't like it's phyisical appearance and people keep calling it small..stupes.

Miz JJ said...

So what kid of lap top did you end up with?? I usually do all my research on-line to avoid SA's because I know they are going to annoy the shit out of me.

Crankyputz said...

Wowee Guys, glad I am not alone on this one.

Marika: I love that u try and stay away from the Yungins....howevers its the youth that are the real wizzards on tech stuff...

B&G: I used to work in car sales, and bday calls are the way they ensure that u come back for your next one. However its part and parcel of the bizz and I am GLAD< your bwoy is doing it right.

GC: I thought Waled was Hot too...sadly a bit young. Sigh. And the Router is so nice...if I could get it to work!

Kevian: I say always buy something you love....never settle....cuz if you don't u'll get sick of it.
This happens to be my theory on luv too....which may explain why i am still single...hmmmm.

Miss J: I got a sexy HP. Ill take pics for u guys.....

solitaire said...

Dear Lady Putz...let me say that your first decision was the right one... the DELL WAS THE WAY TO GO.
(I am currently typing on one and it's the bombshizzle).

Anyway, I hate it when I walk into a store and people either pounce on me too early or look at me as if I don't have cash to buy their shiznit and pay their meager little salaries as well. PAH.

Wow...EC has an Apple Store now? Nice! The only one I went to was the one in Yorkville. I told myself I'd never buy a Mac (cause I grew up in a PC family) and the iPod is the only Macalicious thing I'll ever own. NEVER a computer. NEVER.

scratchie said...

Glad you got what you wanted. Sometimes we gotta buy the things we want and not just what we need. The HP is supposed to be good. We are flooded with Dells here I guess because the other companies were not really supported until recently. I have a Dell because it was the easiest and cheapest way for me to get one delivered to my door. Apples aren't popular here because we tend to be PC- IBM compatible oriented here. Enjoy it.