Thursday, March 15, 2007

Kingston Girl has inspired me to make a list of No No’s in a salsa club:

  • Sweaty hand Man: a simple hand wipe on your jeans will take care of this
  • Excessive Sweating Guy: You know the kind, your body barley touches his and its like you took a dip in the ocean. He always brings an extra shirt to the club…..
  • Arrogant Flashy dancer who cares more about spinning himself than making you look good.
  • Wide turn men: Ladies this is importante: If a guy can’t control your spin, he is very likely to drop you….you don’t want some fool who watched “Dancing with the Stars” last night, spinning you five times till your dizzy, only to lose you and end up on the floor.
  • Grinders: Cheesy men who use the drum beats songs to grind up on you, bwoy my Shakira moves are fine tuned and if I want to grind up on you, you will know….until then keep your distance.
  • Hard On men…yeah we can feel it, and yes we know all the heat is “exciting” but show some control man!!!!
  • Fabio’s who come attired in spandex….No dude No!
  • Counters: They’ve taken classes and continue to count out steps in their head, and every time they mess up they have to stop and recount….dude fake it, its dancing its fun, u mess up carry on…….no one’s going to notice.
  • Limb Yankers: Do not pull on my limbs when turning me around, I am a delicate creature. And I can follow jut fine…
  • The droppers: Complicated dips are reserved for practiced men with a little girth, if you’re a puny and have taken two classes, there is no need to try intricate dips.
  • Advice Givers: The type of man who thinks he can dance. In fact he is so sure of his superior dance skills than instead of being the man and leading you around the floor, he stops to give you ‘helpful’ advice on how you should be moving. This keener gotta keep moving.
  • Wall Hugers: You’ve come to a salsa club, hugging the wall sipping on a beer is not optional, if you don’t know how to dance, learn, its fun, and you don’t even have to dance salsa, just move your behind to show that you appreciate the wonderful band.
  • Fugly Men: Like the one I blogged about bellow, who see fit to ask you why you aren’t smiling….its cuz you’re a&& is annoying me right now….and you are not good looking, and are lacking the essential charm to make your comments interesting…so Buzzzzzzzzz off

    Ladies, did I miss any? Gentleman you have any gripes?

15 comments:

jennifer starfall said...

ew? ew!

Leon said...

Funny list. Looks like there are all sorts of characters at these clubs.

ms. complexity said...

Well after reading 'bout all this bacchanal...I don't think I'll be going.

Abeni said...

Lol,you covered it all girl.

Crankyputz said...

Ms. Complexity....You can't knock it till you try it, so you get a few characters....salsa is the best high...

Miz JJ said...

Lol. I have never gone, but it looks like fun. I am not usually a fan of dancing with a partner. For the reasons you have listed. But I would definitely try it.

Crankyputz said...

Miz JJ I am going to officially invite you out the next Tuesday we go.......You've been put on notice...

SimplEnigma said...

You forgot the Silent Killer dude...the one where he doesn't have a drop of sweat on him, but you go in for the dance and his armpits (or breath) smell like he's never had any private time with a shower (or toothbrush).

At least with Excessive Sweater you KNOW there's the possibility of an odour and you can already go in holding your breath. When an unpleasant whiff catches you unaware?? Not a good look.

Stunner said...

LOL! Do you actually dance with anyone?

Irie Latino said...

Well, as a Latin music DJ my big peeve is the guy (or girl) who comes up to me while I am playing and asks "Yu have anything by Beenie Man" or "Yu have any Bounty Killa". No, this is a Latin Night! I don't have any Bounty Killa, or Tony Matterhorn or Neil Diamond or the American National Anthem ok!!!

Island Spice said...

LOL@ Irie Latino
Despite all these characters.. a Salsa club really is one of the best highs ever!
Grey's was good on Thursday eh? Izzy and George.. now the fit will hit the shan. :)

Mighty Afroditee said...

Lawd, mi gut!!! You lost me at Hard on Man...LMAO!!! Thing is, I know him!!!

Marika said...

So...are there ANY good 'uns in there?

Crankyputz said...

Mizz Spice...Oh wait for the blog on that...
Marika: The hot cuban ones, that can dip and sing the song to you in spanish are worth the other 'hardships'

Kingston Girl said...

You've got them! I think my biggest hatred is the ones who take it all so seriously. You know them, they dance with you but all the while it's like they are thinking what complicated move they can do next and then if you don't quite follow what they were doing and you laugh about it, they look at you like you just aren't good enough for them. It's supposed to be fun! Laugh! Enjoy!

But you are so right - when you find a good one, it makes up for all the bad!