Every Thursday the boyz and I go to eat at a Jamaican place called “Crystals” a little ways away from work. Crystals is like “Misery restaurant.’ It’s a nice place, the food is tasty, but the service is something else. Asking for a menu will get you a chupse from the waitress, cuz now she has to walk over all the way to the other side of the restaurant, What you thinking she here to work.? CHUPSE.
This Thursday we noticed a discernable difference in the portion size, and the prices had gone up by a dollar to boot. This didn’t sit too well the fellas:
“I used to be able to share ah piece of fish with everybody, but sorry folks today yuh only get to look”
“This goat full uh fat. Where de goat?
And so on.
Bill time comes and there’s a lot more hewing and hawing about the portion size. One good Samaritan took it upon himself to be the spokes person and go in the back and have a talk with the owner. The owner apparently started to explain to him the Law of Diminishing Returns, telling him that the portions they were serving before were too large to be cost effective. Our spokes person looks him in the eye and begins to explain to him the Law of Diminishing customers....
Anyhoo so the bills are laid out and I take a peek at mine and notice that I haven’t been charged for my two delicious strawberry daiquiris. Being the shyster I am, I quietly look around to see if anyone else is saying anything about a funny bill. Two of them start to complain out loud about being charged 50cents for gravy. The rest of them start to talk about boycotting the place for a while, two weeks, just to show them that we mean business. “Hear, hears” of agreement are flying all over the place. So we pay our bills and get on out.
Walking back to work, they are talking about the boycott, complaining bitterly about the gravy charges, and I tell one of them, well I’m ok with it, I got a break on my drinks. At which point I notice all of them looking a little sheepish with devilish grins on their face,
“Whaaat? You got yours free too? I thought I is the only one.”
“Damn, girl why didn’t you say anything, I thought I was getting a break”
“Why nobody say anything??”
“Why you think I run out there so fast fuh?”
Shysters the lot of them, I haven’t laughed so hard in months....