Wednesday, May 16, 2007

House Keeping Complaints

We Putz’s have the strangest issues. Most are related to heat and water.

Father Putz is obsessed with the cost of heat. When he was younger, my pops held the carefree ‘money comes and goes, se la vie’ attitude. As he began to age, his thrifty nature came out in all its splendour. In the middle of winter we are all forced to wear more clothes in the house, than when we are outside, all because pops is convinced that the most perfect temperature is 22 degrees. I prefer my living space to resemble Cuba. When it is snowing outside, I get a particular thrill walking around in booty shorts and a tank top. Not so with pops. Pops wants me walking around in a scarf, socks, and sweater. What’s the point of living indoor then? Why not just camp?

Related to heat, are our water issues. You know the feeling when you get home from a long day and your body is aching, and all you want to do is spend a few minutes under a hot shower, and instead you get lukewarm water that quickly turns cold? The disappointment is akin to a lot of foreplay and anticipation, and then the big bang only lasting a mere minute. It’s seriously disappointing.

Living in a house, and perhaps because it is an older house, there are certain evident trends:
~ First person in the shower in the morning is having a cold shower
~Despite having two showers in the house, only one can be used at any given time
~You cannot have a shower right after another person. You are obligated to wait at least fifteen minutes if you would like a few minutes of hot water.
~If you are lucky enough to get hot water, be warned it only lasts for less than seven minutes; if your shower runs longer than seven minutes, you are doomed to a cold finale.

Fathead and I were contemplating why we cannot have as much hot water as we like. Fathead is convinced it’s a conspiracy, that my pops has cleverly rigged the heater to ensure that we don’t ‘waste’ water. My theory is that our heater, having a limited capacity on how much water it can hold, only heats a certain amount of water at any given time. We spent an hour discussing in minute details various causes and remedies. We tried to figure out clever ways to beat the system.

We realised how seriously this was affecting our lives. For instance since we all get home from work around the same time, there is always a competition to see who can get to the shower first. Or the sneakier amongst us (ahem fathead) often will wait the extra ten minutes in the morning, for the first sucker to heat the water for them.

Fathead has decided that the remedy is for me to ‘volunteer’ to pay the heating bill going forward. He claims that this will give us the authority to add a few degrees. Just a solution you would expect from an eighteen year old with no job.

17 comments:

Fiyah said...

I live in an apartment and on cold days when I have the thermostat up high or the fireplace on then I can't get cold water in the morning. Something about the heating unit using hot water to heat the place when its really cold. Or so they explained to me. Brrrrr.

scratchie said...

I can't say I know what you mean since it's hot all year here. The eighteen year old's response is certainly true to form though lol.

Stephen Bess said...

Sounds like country living. :) I remember those days in Carolina when I was growing up. I can't stand the cold shower!

Jdid said...

something may be wrong with your water heater. you guys should get more than 7 minutes of hot water at a time especially in the morning.

22 isnt bad for a house actually, I try to go for 23.5 or so but its still not t-shirt weather for me. I know folks who keep their houses at 15 and 16 during the winter. thats crazy then of course during the summer they try to do that as well running the air con into the ground.

Crankyputz said...

I think its a man thing to be obsessed with heat and water...

Ness said...

Ah.. the old 'two showers in the house that can't be used at once'!
Well I've just spent another 3 days without hot water at all... just as my friends were visiting from Australia.

Luckily they're well travelled, and know how to make do with the mandi - hot water boiled on the stove, put in a bucket, and then splashed over the body using some sort of container.. So much for living in the developed world! ;^)

Maybe you can suggest to Fathead that he try this method of bathing every third day or so? That way there's more hot water for you, and you don't have to foot the bill for everyone else...

SimplEnigma said...

Ness, I must say you've been in extraordinarily good spirits considering that you've been taking cold showers. I would've never guessed! Believe me, you'll KNOW when I'm taking (unwanted) cold showers, cos I'll be as grumpy as hell!

LMAO @ CP's daddy. I think it's a man's thing.

I hate to say it, but I agree with Fathead. I had to work out a similar solution with Pops when I went home for vacation, since he was adept at trailing me and flicking off the lights as soon as I exited a room. I finally just said I'll pay all the utilities for the month I'm here if you promise not to comment on any of them. He agreed and my vacation was spent enjoying blissful 10 minute showers, hour long conversations on the phone and falling asleep with the TV on.

Crankyputz said...

Ness: A tumbler, and its funny I had relatives visit from India who INSISTED, on taking a shower with teh ole bucket and tumbler.

SE: It would take a muzzel to shut pops up. Complaining gives him some margin of pleasure I believe. And there is no way I am paying for cold water....

jay bee said...

yeah, i paid the heating bill in the cold season and even though it was MY expense, there was still such a kerfuffle every time i turned the thermostat up even one degree... so even though you own the bill, you never have control.

Silk Cotton Jumbie said...

Install a wall shower heater. It heats the water as it comes, is more economical than a 'tank' heater and the water never goes cold, no matter how long you shower.

I have one:)

George said...

1 shower, 1 water heater, 1 person ... I am in shower heaven. My house has old fashioned hot water heating and radiators (house built 1890) and the natural gas bills in the winter average $350/month for heating/hot water ... but WTF, that's life.

CP ... just scoot down the highway for a hot shower anytime.

GC (God's Child) said...

how's the condo shopping coming along?

Miz JJ said...

My mom is the same way. My brother and I are constantly sneaking up the heat when she is not looking. I think we busted a record last year. We had the place nice and toasty, but in January we heard about it when my mom got a $600 Hydro bill. Ooops.

Crankyputz said...

GC: It's too slow! I Can't wait though, my place is going to be CUBA!

Miz J: Would have loved to see her face opening that bill

bitsandgiggles said...

That used to be my life before we got a new water heater...now we can run all the showers at once AND run the dishwasher and we still don't run out of hot water.

Blissful.

gela said...

Even though it's hot all year in Ja, it's so nice to feel the warm water cascading down your back sometimes, ahhh, bliss.

Why don't y'all just move to Ja during the winter months :)

Crankyputz said...

Gela you get the prize for the best suggestion so far, Now should I also take that as an inviation??