We Putz’s have the strangest issues. Most are related to heat and water.
Father Putz is obsessed with the cost of heat. When he was younger, my pops held the carefree ‘money comes and goes, se la vie’ attitude. As he began to age, his thrifty nature came out in all its splendour. In the middle of winter we are all forced to wear more clothes in the house, than when we are outside, all because pops is convinced that the most perfect temperature is 22 degrees. I prefer my living space to resemble Cuba. When it is snowing outside, I get a particular thrill walking around in booty shorts and a tank top. Not so with pops. Pops wants me walking around in a scarf, socks, and sweater. What’s the point of living indoor then? Why not just camp?
Related to heat, are our water issues. You know the feeling when you get home from a long day and your body is aching, and all you want to do is spend a few minutes under a hot shower, and instead you get lukewarm water that quickly turns cold? The disappointment is akin to a lot of foreplay and anticipation, and then the big bang only lasting a mere minute. It’s seriously disappointing.
Living in a house, and perhaps because it is an older house, there are certain evident trends:
~ First person in the shower in the morning is having a cold shower
~Despite having two showers in the house, only one can be used at any given time
~You cannot have a shower right after another person. You are obligated to wait at least fifteen minutes if you would like a few minutes of hot water.
~If you are lucky enough to get hot water, be warned it only lasts for less than seven minutes; if your shower runs longer than seven minutes, you are doomed to a cold finale.
Fathead and I were contemplating why we cannot have as much hot water as we like. Fathead is convinced it’s a conspiracy, that my pops has cleverly rigged the heater to ensure that we don’t ‘waste’ water. My theory is that our heater, having a limited capacity on how much water it can hold, only heats a certain amount of water at any given time. We spent an hour discussing in minute details various causes and remedies. We tried to figure out clever ways to beat the system.
We realised how seriously this was affecting our lives. For instance since we all get home from work around the same time, there is always a competition to see who can get to the shower first. Or the sneakier amongst us (ahem fathead) often will wait the extra ten minutes in the morning, for the first sucker to heat the water for them.
Fathead has decided that the remedy is for me to ‘volunteer’ to pay the heating bill going forward. He claims that this will give us the authority to add a few degrees. Just a solution you would expect from an eighteen year old with no job.