Monday, June 18, 2007

The Code

The Front End:
I spent the weekend with five gorgeous men. The kind of men who got the right kind of genes, tall, beautiful smiles, chiseled features (I always wondered what chiseled features were,) as well as bonus attributes like great jobs, shinning personalities etc.

And I got to be the only girl with them all weekend long.

The Back End:
I’ve known most of these fellas for a while now. The two who the following story rotates on live together. They are best buds. Roomie 1 who we shall call the Wizard, has been my flirt friend from a couple of years. We had a brief encounter when we first met, and pretty much a few more times over the years. Wizard is hot, however timing and circumstance never quite worked out, and the fact that I never felt too bad about it, never caused me to feel like I missed out on anything.

Rommie #2, we shall call the Don. The Don is hot, in the silent brooding kind of way and women tend to throw themselves at him in droves. I witnessed many such droves on Saturday.

Que Friday: We all went down to College Street, meh & my men, and about ten shots later, we ended up at some hookey club, shaking to the music. The Wizard who currently has a girlfriend is giving me the eye. Later on in the night, the Wizard is all over me. I don’t know if any other single person out there feels this way, but lately I’ve been feeling like it has become my second duty in life to keep men faithful. All the men in relationships seem to only need a few drinks or an hour long conversation, to suddenly forget their faithful ways and make a pass. Luckily for ‘most’ of the women, I live by the code, namely, & so far no one’s left overs have been tempting enough.


Que Saturday: We get to Music. Music is your perfect example of an uppity club. Women with pretty extensions and Bebe dresses, flouncing around, whilst gino dressed men buy then $20 drinks. The Wizard, probably out of guilt, is now acting super ‘friendly’ towards me, patting me on the back like one of the boys…whatever…

The Don in the meantime, has a girl following him around. Rather unexpectedly the Don grabs my arm and steers me to the back of one of the patios, and proceeds to get his mouth and hands all over me.

Now I almost died of a shock. I mean, in the group, I thought I was sort of spoken for by the Wizard. Sure there isn’t anything going on with us right now, but heck we had a past. Isn’t there a code amongst men, to not violate another man’s property, even if it is only a summer home?? I know amongst my girl friends, once you start to date one of us, you become a non sexual entity. And even if you cease dating for years, you still remain the original handler’s first pick. Permission must be sought.

So I ask: Does the code exist Or am I living in a different time?

24 comments:

Marika said...

The code definitely exists, and it could well count as a black mark against The Don that he would do that, regardless of how chiseled he is :)

Beyond that, I have no idea.

George said...

The code may exist for the women but I don't know a whole lot of guys who even know about it.

The OE said...

A secret agent ask permission? Ha! The concept of a secret agent dating someone and then not being able to date any of her associates is unrealistic. Too many people confuse "relations" with ownership but ownership doesn't apply without the intentions of marriage. Neither does commitment.

ms. complexity said...

Who are these men and can you send some my way? Any of 'em Black?

Jim said...

IMHO, the fact that the Wizard has a girlfriend and the fact that you're single kinda puts you on the market.

BUT, it's not quite so simple. Somtimes the boys will converse about whether you are "open game" or not. The Don probably asked the Wizard if it is okay to pursue you. The Wizard, embarassed from the night before was probably cool with it.

Gela said...

The only code the men know is "GO FOR IT". lol.

So ok, they're roomies. So convo probably went like this Friday night after they got home: Ok they wouldn't be talking in Patois but you get the gist if you can understand :)

Don: Gwaaan yute, ah see yu mekking a move though.

Wizard: Chuuups. sigh. Putz look hot man. Ah know ah shouldn't but just couldn't resist trying a thing. The girl hot! She nah bite doh, cuz she know that ------ on the scene.

Don: Den yute, if yu know dat the girl nah tek yu on, give a man a chance nuh? Ah how yu greedy so man. A long time ah looking cuz yow, she burning up the place.

Wizard: Sigh. Bwoy, ah don't know if she will respond to you, yu know. *scratches head in contemplation* Awright, check har nuh, cuz she definitely nah look my way. Is a principled girl dat man. She suppose to hang with us tomorrow so test the waters nuh.



I'm sure some kind of discussion went down.

Jumbie said...

Most men may 'go for gold', but there are the few who do have some honour. I had three rules when dating, from teens to present times.

1) No one under 18. She should be legal, willing and charming.

2) Never the sister/girlfriend of a friend. If I met the girl first and her family after, she is fair game. If I knew her male relatives first, she was automatically off limits. Hard rule even if I never broke it, because there were times I had friends who had some niiiice relatives (nice in mannerisms and character not only in looks).

3) NEVER a married woman. I hold marriage to be a final act of committment especially in an age where it is so easy to shack up.

I am happy to say, I've never broken these rules yet.

Colonise This! said...

LMAO!!! I agree with Gela and Jim. A conversation took place ... but seems as though he was doing a little more than testing the waters, sounds as though he was diving in head first.

Crankyputz said...

Oh Lordy Gela, You had me rolling around in the office laughing, and the intern came in to ask me what's wrong....

Miz JJ said...

I agree with Gela. But tread carefully. Nobody gossips like black men and you do not want to be known as a girl who gets passed around between friends. Even if that is not remotely close to how it happened, which is clearly the case.

Stephen Bess said...

Ha! Men don't follow such codes. They may respect your wife (sometimes), but a former girlfriend is open season. They just might keep it to themeselves. :) Shhhhhh...don't tell nobody!!

SimplEnigma said...

LMAO @ George...dude, why your friends didn't tell you 'bout The Code?

1. I'll be in Toronto on June 30. Please save one of the other 3 (not Wizard or Don) for me. Thanks in advance.

2. Keeping attached men honest is the bane of my frickin' existence. My Annual Sexual Average (ASA) would be waaaay higher if I didn't have to worry about that.

3. My girls and I have the same code; once you mess with one of us, you're pretty much a eunuch to the rest of us.

4. Yes, just like how you and your girls woulda had a conversation 'bout it, roomies had a convo. Permission may not have been explicitly granted, but maybe the Don decided that Wizard was in no position to be granting permission, since he didn't own the property.

5. Or maybe (if these guys are assholes) they're thinking "It ain't no fun if my homie can't get none"...but if they're you're boys this is the least likely reason.

blog Portland said...

Whatever people. The code exists, and almost all men know about it. But unlike the female code, the male one is subject to all sorts of crazy stipulations, the most notable of which you might have heard of -- it's called "free will." You can choose to ignore the code just like any other social boundary.

In most cases, however, all women that have crossed sheets with your brother or best friend are completely off limits. Beyond that the possible ramifications fade sharply based on your relationship with the guy. Then there's also what's called a "team win," in which a girl's bedability is so strong that it makes you cooler simply knowing someone whose pickle she played with.

Jdid said...

I agree with Gela I think some sort of discussion went on for the simple reason that even if one isnt going to respect the code, the switch cannot be made that easier in the space of two nights.

i was going to make an analogy to dogs and peeing but it just would have gotten out of hand so i'll leave it there :-)

The OE said...

Following this same logic, if I post a comment in your blog then none of the women in your blogroll can post a comment in mine.

ian said...

we have the same code. but we have an easier time breaking it because guys seem to be able to forgive each other about this kind of stuff. if you and wizard were never even the real deal, then it's all gravy, but were you an official ex, then you would be off-limits. again, all men know this: it's called bro-code.

Mista A said...

Sounds like he wanted to get the woman to stop following him to me. He's been watching too many movies. I thought of doing that to a female stranger once, but was worried I might get one box afterwards. lol.

Crankyputz said...

OE: The code is : DO unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

I love people commenting on my blog, so does anyone who has a blog. Thus we shall all continue to comment on your blog, constantly...

bitsandgiggles said...

I think this was the best comment thread ever and I'm sorry I didn't get to it sooner ;-) All the good stuff has been said!

The OE said...

In that case, I wake up at night and eat milk and cookies. How ya like them apples?

Leon said...

All's fair in love and war, my dear.

kimba said...

but what happened w the Don next....???

Crankyputz said...

He ended up with the girl who followed him around the entire night, and then puking his guts out till 5 am....

Dea said...

Keep up the good work.