There are certain rules that a person of Indian Origin follows when traveling:
Rule #1: You must pack the most unnecessary stuff when traveling back to the motherland….items like clothes (hello aren’t most of our clothes made in India??) laundry detergent….and the most random items you have collected over the years, to give as gifts….
Rule #2: You must pack as many suitcases as you are allowed. You must also securely fasten your suitcase with a rope…..preferably in a neon color…. You must also stick the craziest stickers on your suitcase, so that you can identify them in the motherland.
Rule #3: Even though you are aware of weight restrictions, it is important you look completely surprised when your bag is over the allotted 23 kgs. It is also your moral duty to sit there and argue with the airline representative on how completely unfair and random weight restrictions are.
Rule #4: You must then make your way to the side of the airport and painstakingly move the above mentioned laundry detergent and such to evenly distribute the weight.
Rule #5: Whiles in the motherland, you must accumulate as many forbidden and contraband food and liquor items to take back with you. Yes you were warned on the way out and will be warned on the way in, about how bad it is to bring back a few juicy Alfanso mangoes, and country liquor, but really, you reason, its only a few mangoes…what harm could it do. Also you reason, its partly national jealousy, after all, what if anything do you sneak out of Canada into another country? Maple Syrup??
Rule #6: When you finally hit the final immigration line and the nice immigration officer says, “Welcome home, are you carrying any spices, food items or alcohol” you must put on your sweetest face, and like Peter you reply, “No, No Officer, those Indian spices are so smelly…” And pray that he does not notice the beads of sweat trickling down your forehead, evidence of the one suitcases entirely filled with sweets, banana chips, spices, country liqor and other such items.
Rule #7: You must heed your mothers warning and ignore your bags, letting them take a spin on the little bag wheel, while the mean airport security dogs sniff out the loot in other bags…
Rule #8: On the way out….you must walk at a normal pace, heart beating fast, until you get the outside…at which time you breathe a huge sigh of relief and congratulate yourself at another wonderful ‘food smuggle’
Rule #9: Once outside, you wonder how soon you can dig into those yummy banana chips…..