Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Not so All Inclusive Story


When I bought my condo I convinced myself that there was no need for me to shell out the extra fees for one with a pool. I told myself that I would hardly ever use the facilities and that it would be a huge waste.

My dear readers I was wrong, so wrong.

This weekend, I spent all day, (till the last rays of sunlight were visible) sitting around my friends pool on Lakeshore. Not only was the pool gorgeous, (pristine water,) outdoors, (fresh air) and sunny, (the rays burning into my skin,) there were men. Lot’s and lot’s of well built, scantily attired men. It felt like Cuba.


Through the course of the day many friendships were formed. Like Cuba we got several invitations to have dinner and go partying. We politey refused all, but in the end, one persistent fella, insisted that we come over for dinner. He repeated many times how they had tons of food, and the words burgers, wings, steaks were flung around. Anyone who knows anything about pools, knows that pool hunger cannot be ignored. So we offer to make a salad and made a date. The boys leave us at the pool, where we proceed to spend thirty more minutes greedily soaking up the last of the evening sun. We then head up to change, and mosey along over to their flat.

As we enter the smell of barbeque envelopes us like a comforting friend ushering us inside.

And then we notice the empty plates.

It seems that these boys couldn’t wait, they were hungry and its obvious their feast is over. A quick pan around the room, reveals two of them slouching on a sofa, hands in comfortable 'ball feeling' positin. Alarm bells start to ring in my head, but I sit back giving them the benefit of doubt and think, "oh they were hungry, I am sure they’ve got some left for us. "

They didn’t have a thing. Not a thigh, not a bit of bread from their promised burgers..... nothing at all. .

Then they tell us their out of wine and carelessly offer us a glass of water.

One of the lazy ones proceeded to give us directions to an Italian joint, which he claims is great value.

At which point my blood began to boil. It was a combination of sunning for eight hours, pool hunger, and far fetched promises by these hogs that finally did it in. Grabbing our paltry salad, we bid them goodnight. One had the nerve to invite us back later for drinks…..

So what's the difference between lake shore pools and Cuba? In an All inclusive’s, boys can be impressive since everything is on the house.


(Men Note: Good Manners would have been to at the very least call for take out!)

14 comments:

Ruthibelle said...

Hush love, you live, you learn, you grow... and when you really mad, you sacrifice a chicken, (or salad), and pray that the powers-that-be take speedy vengeance on all the lousy-azz men in the world.

Jim said...

Just goes to show you that most men are all talk ;)

So just to clarify, because I was a bit confused. Did they actually eat all the food without you? Or did they not have any food in the first place? I'm assuming the former because of the BBQ smell.

GC (God's Child) said...

that's messed up

Crankyputz said...

Jim: they ate, however they obviously never had enough, especially for two people,

Jdid said...

are you serious? what moron invites someone to dinner then eats it all.

thats not even bad manners thats just being a plain dumbass.

minijonb said...

at least your friend has a pool. take advantage of that whenever you can.

i have a pool at my new place. i've been so busy with to-do list stuff i haven't even checked it out yet.

dalia said...

god, almighty, where on earth do you meet these people? you need to hang out with me more! LOL at least my people feed you... (though we don't have pools, there are often big backyards with plenty of room for sunning)...

sid said...

no frigging way. why invite you around when there's obviously no friggin food available. what' wrong with men.

Pepper said...

LOL thats HEEEEElarious

Stunner said...

LOL! dem yute deh serious! That was awful behavior though.

Jumbie said...

Egads! Thank God I learnt manners while still a wee lad. What are parents teaching these days?

I'd invite you over, but it's a rather long trip... oh well, if you have the time. (^_^)

Christie said...

They did not. Seriously. Wow, that is pretty low, even for guys.

mad bull said...

Wow! Dem crazy! The only thing I can think of is that they didn't think you were really going to come. Weird.

Miz JJ said...

So tacky.