My Dearest Would-Be:
It’s been a while.
You’ve been on mind lately.
You tend to be on my mind when everything else goes to the shits.
Turns out I am high strung Would be. (I know sweetness, I’m a little shocked too.) All this time I’ve been going around suspecting that I may be high maintenance (sort of like that line in ‘When Harry met Sally,’ “you’re the worst kind, the kind of girl, the kind who thinks she’s low maintenance but is infact very high maintenance.)
But High Strung? Who knew? You see the other day I made a startling discovery. I realized that I (shock of all shocks) maintain myself. I own my own house (with the bank,) buy my own Banana Republic suits, take myself to dinner, dancing and the movies. Would Be, I am ridiculously self sufficient. Why I almost cried when I realized that I don’t require any maintenance.
Then I read the definition of a ‘high strung’ person, defined as someone having an extremely nervous or sensitive temperament. My recently developed nervous ticks, inability to breathe properly and generally increasing levels of anxiety came to mind. Would be, I am a high strung lover.
You see Would be while I don’t require any of the monetary maintenance, I crave the other stuff. In HR we call these soft rewards; the touchy feely stuff that increase your retention and make for a happier, more productive work force. These strategies include: an articulated, coaching and mentoring process, i.e. weekly one on one’s with your boss to talk about your future in the company, an employee of the month prize, a pat on the back for a job well done, true empathy for difficult personal situations.
Some people are motivated by the money, in a relationship’s case, by the end goal, marriage, sex, a really good settlement. Would be, I appear to be motivated by the soft rewards, the altruistic kindness of a partner, in listening to your most boring thought with keen interest, the hug when they walk in the door, the little unique language that you develop between each other.
Thus Would Be, It would appear that whilst I need you to be a generally nice person, who is good looking and has a hot bod, I also need you to be able to convince me to do the whole relationship thing. I need you to articulate the benefits.
Oh this whole post is making me twitch.