Saturday, November 21, 2009

Leaving your workplace after almost six years is an odd experience. It’s like being thrown out of your family, nothing personal. “Nothing personal” is the sentiment echoed over and over again in the days that lead to the final farewell. Coworkers assure you that it happens to everyone. That in the corporate world being fired is almost a rite of passge. Nothing personal. On your last day, HR takes your badge, and you hand over your keys. You are officially no longer part of the group. You are an outsider. Nothing personal.

So you go home and the next morning, you wake up sort of elated, by the freedom to sleep in, no longer having to answer to a monster of a boss, to the possibilities that lie ahead. Until your hit with the sense of dread. That keeps you in bed till the afternoon, as your mind meanders through the mindfield of all the things that could go wrong in the next few months.

And you make a plan. A mental rescue plan. To flee to Dubai to heal your wounded pride in the heat of the sun, surrounded by the friends and air that once made you fearless. And to mumbai,to confront the deamons and dread of not living up to other people’s expectations.

And you hope that as you fly out of Toronto on your fifteen hour journey in a plastic tube, that you finally leave behind all those little things that bother you, like little flies in your mind: the man who claims he loves you, who never shows up, who, despite your best efforts, you cannot forget, the little incidents over the year that made little dents in your spirit, and the unconfidant, unhappy person you saw yourself becoming, all because your going to be 29 with no job, no man and generally no mark of ‘making it’ in sight.

Nothing personal ofcourse.

10 comments:

Jumbie said...

Better days are coming... try reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad if you get a chance... pick it up on an airport layover.

I assure you, it will be something you won't regret, as you recoup all the energy you feel you've lost.

john said...

Did you not find it interesting, that Jumbie has not denied any of the accusations made?

Mad Bull said...

Sounds like the only way things can go from here is up. Think positive and all will work out well. Good luck, CP.

GC (God's Child) said...

enjoy your trip!
Nice to be able to re-orient yourself.

SE said...

If you loved your job, then I'm sorry it's over. If you didn't then it's the best thing that ever happened to you. Trust me, I've been there.

The good thing about job loss when you have no kids or man to worry about is that it gives you the freedom to do whatever you want.

You are not a failure. There is no law that says you have to be 29 and accomplish X, Y and Z.

Do me a favor, read the Desiderata when you have a few minutes. It always makes me feel better.

Sometimes what you see is just a matter of what you're willing to imagine. The possibilities are endless for someone as intelligent and delightful as you are.

Hugs!

Abeni said...

All the best CP. I guess it is a time of mixed emotions but better will come

The OE said...

Wow, you have a lot of new fans. I feel ya. Have a good trip, clear your head, and when you come back hit me up through secure channels.

Pepper said...

u and LB are in the exact same position...only he has a child on the way...so see...cud be worse...

chin up...the sun will come out... tomoro

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dalia said...

damn, where have i been? sorry you lost your job, but i have learned that if you roll with life's punches, you never get hurt. hope you're having a wicked-ass time in dubai.