Lately I’ve been thinking about forgiveness. In Invicitus, Mandela is quoted as saying, “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear, that is why it is such a powerful weapon.”
I am not the kind of person who carries around a grudge. I am too hot tempered for that. I get angry, I burst and then I am all better. (It was a surprise to me when I realized that most people are slower to anger, and hold on to it for a while longer.) It is also impossible for me to dislike someone I love.
Yet there are some hurts that last a little longer. I generally forgive the act, but forgetting is another story.
When I was in Dubai, one of the most hurtful things that happened to me was being omitted from an old friends wedding. Now this wasn’t just any old friend, this was like a best friend, whom I had grown up with in Dubai and moved to Canada with. We had some great life experiences together and though we hadn’t kept in touch over the years, she still has a soft spot in my heart. Being omitted hurt.* Then was the infamous friend who ran away. (Incidentally these two are friends, so I am sure there is a deeper story I am not aware of.) And last but not least Baby Pilot. Granted things didn’t go too well, but no reply to my pretty email or call, was a bit of a shock. I tried to understand and since there was nothing left to do, I forgave him; yet almost daily, I remember.
So how does one benevolently forget? Forgiving is easy for me, but there is always a little nag of hurt that remains. Or maybe it isn't true forgiveness I am experiencing???
*Note Weddings in Dubai aren’t like in North America, everyone gets invited, strangers of the street, your friends extended family etc.
6 comments:
I used to make myself ill over the same things as you until I was forced to learn to let go...
I dont even think forgetting is possible, especially when you're making an effort to... the mere fact that you trying to forget alone means you going to remember... *that made sense in ma head*.
But wat they teach me in Sunday School is that, if you forgive, you will remember and not feel any of the anger and such... from I hear that, i stop trying to forget hurtful stuff.
what I was trying to say was. . . not everyone has the same level of confidence; and some people are extremely sensitive. You may never know why your friend has moved on. Best to let it go. And if you ever find out, you may be surprised at how simple and seemingly inconsequential it seems.
that sucks
I would be hurt too.I am the type who would go the extra mile for my friends and expect the same.
You will remember but from my experience over time it just doesn't hurt as much if at ll
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