Every time I get a new job, I keep thinking, this is it; this is the job that is going to challenge, excite and push me forward. And then a few weeks go by and I soon learn the ins and outs of the systems and process and I fall back into bad habits, devoting 30% of my time to work and 70% to wasting time. If there was an accolade devoted to time wastage, I do believe I would be my Oscar.

I usually think the same way about the men I meet. This is it, this is the one whose going to stay, love me and do my dishes in his tighty whiteys.

On Sunday I was tired. Yet I had committed to handing out meals to the homeless at Evangeline Hall. Driving up to the center I realized that as much as I am aware of various social challenges, living in my nice suburban home, I often have the luxury of forgetting other people’s hardships. Spending my Sunday with the homeless wasn’t necessarily my idea of a lovely day. My first ‘customer’ asked me for a coffee, and so did his three companions. I got his wrong. At which point, he yelled out, “Are you stupid, Dumb, or Just a Moron?” At that moment, I wanted to tell him to go to hell and get my self out of there and back to my shiny world of coffees that come in pretty cups. But I stayed, and got better with my coffee orders. Most of the folks were men, one or two bought a girlfriend along. Many had obvious mental abnormalities. Yet the majority were so thankful.

Last night I was tired again. Yet it was Monday and I had committed to going salsa dancing. So I washed my hair and went. The thing about salsa night is that everyone is there because they are in love, (not ‘in like,’) with salsa. Most have husbands, girlfriends, children, work and other obligations. Coming out on a Monday is no small feat. Yet that moment: when your legs are aching, your feet are going to give out and your pretty sure that on the next spin your going to flop over, a particular beat or trumpet goes off and your mind, heart, soul and body are inspired to go to the next level; is what makes it all worth it.

Lately I’ve started to realize that there is no miracle job (or man-though I still reserve the right to hold out hope for my would be) that’s going to come around and bring out the best in me. Successful people are often successful not because they are smarter or more talented or wiser than the rest of us. From my humble observances, the two things they all seem to have in common is purpose and self-discipline.

I used to have this great poster on my wall that said, “Someone’s boring me, and I think its me.”

As cliché as it sounds life is one big choice. Maybe that’s what the Catholicism means by free will. You choose to get depressed, you choose to see the negative and you choose to sit at home and wait for life to come to you.

My lesson for the month is that sometimes to be dazzled all you have to do is show up and put your best foot forward.

Because in the end the only person who can add that extra bit of pizzaz to you life is YOU!