My grandfather once said to me that the saddest thing in life is to outlive your peers.

I didn’t really understand what he meant till this weekend.

My 21 year old brother was throwing a fabulous party downtown. I am a big supporter of my fabulous brother. And often in life, you can’t do much else in the way of support besides just showing up.

I made plans to attend the party, asked around and found that none of my friends were available to go; no one, not a single person. I lamented for the day when I had at least one ‘ride or die’ friend, who I could count on, no matter what: sick, cranky, work at 5 am, kickboxing, we would always show up for each other. These days getting someone to show up to anything seems to take all of my negotiating finesse. And I don’t seem to have much left.

So there I was Sat night, in my romper (best new look for 2010) with my brother and his friends, taking the odd shot of tequila, having a grand time. We get to the club and all the little girls are wearing skin tight Marciano dresses in many different colors. I stood out in my overly expensive romper. I was different, old, outliving my peers.

Most of my ‘peers’ were home, feeding new babies, watching movies with their significant other or studying for their masters.

I love my life, I really do, but I’m starting to feel like Ted from HIMYM. I’m starting to wonder when I can look around again on a Saturday night and see my peers again.....(and not with someone six years younger, coping ah feel!)