In times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, she says: Ask the Bloggers.
The most romantic dream a girl can have is the man who breaks her heart, magically appearing one day to beg her forgiveness and say that he’s made the biggest mistake of his life, and please oh please can I have another chance. In the dream, the image is always a happy reunion and quick fade into the words THE END. The implication of happily ever after is stark.
Six months ago Baby Pilot shred my heart. On Saturday as I was casually sitting at the hair dresser I get a txt saying “Hi its BP, you probably don’t want to talk to me, but I thought I’d try.”
I responded and the conversation continued until I somehow agreed to meet up with him and his friends in the city. At first it was all casual, his friends seemed to have no particular idea of who I was and were nice enough. He was the same and within the privacy of my Canal Street Channels, I could observe how alarmingly charming someone can look and how wondrous he wasn’t growing horns out of the side of his head.
At some point came the ‘sorry’ and the ‘I’m in love with you still and no girl I meet is even close to as great as you are.’
I reminded him gently that while there was a month of bliss and then there was 10 days of ugliness, and that I hadn’t heard from him in 6 months. He had been back to Canada twice, and not a word. He used to see me on FB and not a word. In this time of blackberry’s, multiple emails, phones, text messages, etc. etc. not a word. Not even a Lady Antebellum “it’s a quarter past one and I’m a little drunk and I need you now” kind of a call. Just silence.
So he says that he was immature and silly and he didn’t appreciate what a great girl he’d found. He’s had an epiphany. And talk is cheap and if I will let him, he will spend the rest of his life making it up to me, and do anything I need him to do.
That was Saturday night; he is in town till Friday. Since then I got a txt asking how I was doing. Explaining that he’s busy for the next two days, family and friend engagements, but can he take me out Tuesday.
Now bloggers, if you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and your only in town for a week, wouldn’t you a) try and spend a little time each day with this person (quick breakfast or lunch or coffee) b) include them in your engagements or provide to option to be included or at least explain why they aren’t included? C) Begin a campaign of winning this person back that includes a grand gesture and many little bitty ones?
The funny part about all of this is that my heart and my gut are tired. They remember the lovely dreamy month of bliss, but they also remember the past 6 months of hurt and unknown. My mind also remembers the past 6 months, remembering that while life is as good as it gets now,( in terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,) Sundays are never fun; they are lonely and here is someone who at one point I thought I could spend my life with, isn’t worth giving him a second, albeit, cautious chance?
Yet in terms of my 4 C’s of review Character, Consistency, Care and Concern, nothing is ringing true. I see no meaningful change.
What to do bloggers? What to do?