Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Auditors

I think the most useless profession out there is that of an auditor. (I would say here, no offense if you are an auditor….but really I do mean offense, I do.)

I recently moved into a department that is audited to death as part of protocol.

I just couldn’t figure out the purpose of it, so I decided to ask the fellow….a short little man of Bangladeshi descent…..

CP: So you want the boss to sign everything, and you want copies of everything? What do you do with the copies?
A: Well we use as evidence that you are doing your jobs.

CP: Well if I wasn’t doing my job, my boss would notice and fire me.

A: Perhaps, but its proof to verify to the CEO that we as a third party are confirming that you do your job.

CP: Ok, fair enough…so you bother me for a week and then you go present all this stuff to the CEO.

A: Well no. Actually we prepare a report and then file it away.

CP: (Incredulous stare) So you mean to say, you irritate me for two weeks with the most pointless questions, you kill a dozen trees making pointless photocopies and you file it away?

A: Well yes, that’s our job………….

OEY VEY!

1 comment:

Marika said...

Oh my lord, I AGREE!!! To add insult to injury, everyone always feels compelle to pussy-foot around them for fear of causing offence. They must have the best sandwiches there is, for if they don't, they will count that against us and write a bad report and the company will fold...FOLD I TELL YOU!

Auditors need a giant dose of perspective. Not expensive sandwiches.