Saturday the Koreans stood me up, so I accidentally spent a lot of money at a strip mall….not even a real mall.

Whilst browsing at a grocery store, I meet this fellow I used to work with. We chat for a bit, exchange current job titles, catch up on dating histories, and general life goals. He tells me he is dating an Indian girl and we get into a little exchange on cultural differences. As I am about to leave he says, we should hang out sometime. I say sure, we exchange numbers. I waddle home.

I get a call at around 10, private (who calls private anymore??) and it’s him, asking where I am heading to that night…..so we have a two minute conversation. And I head out.

4 a.m. phone rings, its private again….and its buddy, checking in to see how my night went.

Excuse me. I met you again after 8 years, I do not know you well enough for you to call me at 4 a.m., you are definitely not booty call material, and you said girlfriend, which is supposed to indicate you will not be a stalker……Men are so misleading.