Every now and then you make a choice and do something that perhaps you should not have done. But you did it, and have no real regrets about it. Heck it happened. No one was significantly impacted by it, and perhaps the intention behind it was suspect, but it happened.
And you tell a friend; more out of the need to tell someone rather than as a solicitation for commentary on the choice.
You are given commentary. Obviously commentary you don’t want to hear. All you wanted to do was tell someone. And you begin to feel that instead of telling an impartial friend, you’ve mistakenly been to the ‘confessional’ at the Catholic Church where the judgment is immediate and you’re given the number of verses to get out of the conundrum.
Suddenly the choice seems a lot bigger than it was yesterday.
The friend connects dots, some relevant, others obtuse at best.
And you start to get a little irritated. Yet you are reminded that this is what friends ‘are supposed to do.’
And you begin to remember why you began a blog to begin with: Anonymous confessions to people who will always try to put a happy spin on all your little stumbles.
11 comments:
which makes it worse because if you went to the confessional, maybe they would tell you to say some "our fathers"
there was a time I wished I was Catholic and could have the beads and say the prayers but I digress
please feel free to confess here any time. As far as we know you are an astonishingly thin woman with pearls draped across her middle. You are anonymous to us.
tell no one just bottle it up inside like the rest of us
Doesn't mean you won't get a little criticism here.
The trick is to give each of your friends a role. I have the "I hate men" friend. The "give him another chance" friend. The "I've slept with more people than you have and therefore won't judge you" friend. And, my personal favorite, "the well, that was sort of stupid but I love you anyway" friend.
How about the - "I'm sitting next to you in the jail cell, and MAN, was that fun!! " friend. I like them the best. Just remember to keep that guy seperate from the, "you can call me at 2am and I'll bail you out" friend. It doesn't work if these are one in the same.
Oh, I hear you.
I remember a long ago conversation with a girlfriend that went something like:
Me: I think I'm I love with him.
Her: No you're not. Everyone knows you're not.
And that was the end of our helpful little chat.
Sometimes you need validation, but sometimes...you need to hear what you don't want to. Knowing nothing about your situation now, obviously I'm in no place to judge which one it is, but...it turns out that I wasn't in love with that guy after all.
I'm a Bottler miself...I enjoy bottling it all up inside and releasing it in one fell swoop at a time when it's least expected. The last time, it was while I was constipated on the toilet...Just started bawling for no reason.
But considering I have a history of bipolarism in my family, it's probably not the best course of action.
If I'm in a sharing mood, I start my confession with, "I'm gonna tell you something, but I jus want yuh to lissen, don't say anything when I'm done...don't even ask mi if I'm done."
i have varying levels of friends. once you've passed a certain level, your access to more information gets checked out and verified.
my super duper best friend knows the most about me,and the girl i beg notes from in class knows the least.
plus, you got to pick the right tool for the right job. you can't ask a super conservative religious person whether trojans are better than lifestyles... or can you? lol =)
It's hard to let it all out but sometimes you just have to.I think the trick is picking the perfect person to do it to.
aint blogging great?
I'm with Leon tho.. if u are bad we will let u know.. even if we commiserate :)
B&G/Andrew: Your right different friends for different issues...and very very imp to keep the bail friend away from the I'm with you when you get in trouble friend.
Leon: Honesty is the best policy, but getting a talking to from strangers is less hurtful to the ego than from your friends...
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