Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I love Indian people, I am Indian. They are a generous, down to earth bunch. No superiority complexes with Indians. Sure we are the butt of jokes on accents and smells, but overall, I love my people. Only every now and then, I come to the conclusion that there may be some truth to those jokes:

(Please read the following in Apu’s voice~ I’m not promoting stereotyping here, but honestly the ICIC Rep, was Apu’s cousin)

ICIC: Good Morning, Thank you for Calling ICIC Bank, how may I be of assisting today?

CP: Well, I opened a high interest savings account on line, and I got an email saying to give you guys a call.

ICIC: Madam, Just to confirm, you are calling ICIC Bank because you have a high interest savings account. Please confirm Madam.

CP: No, I applied for one, but I got an email saying to give you guys a call to complete the account set up.

ICIC: Ok Madam, what I heard was you are calling about the high interest savings account; Please confirm that what I heard is true.

CP: well yeah…...sort of…..

ICIC: Madam Please tell me your name

CP: Cranky Putz, C-R-A-N-K-Y P-U-T-Z

ICIC: Madam, I heard CRANKY PUTZ, please confirm that this is correct.
CP: Yes

ICIC: Madam please holding on, while I secure access to your personalized information

CP: Ok

(4 long, horrendous on hold song-minutes later)

ICIC: Madam I am sorry to inform you that you do not have a High interest savings account with us. Please go on our website and set up one.

CP: (Reaching the height of irritation) Yes I know that, I did apply for one, and YOU GUYS sent me an email to call you

ICIC: Madam, I am so sorry, Just to confirm you are interested in applying for a high interest savings account, please confirm what I have confirmed.

CP: Seriously?

ICIC: Pardon me madam?

CP: Look can you not just look up my information?

ICIC: Madam, Just to confirm I am going to put you on hold while I talk to my superior to find the bestest solution to your problem….

CP: Bestest?? OK fine. Whatever….

(Four minutes later)

ICIC: Madam I just want to confirm to you that you do not have an account with us, please go to the website to apply for one, please confirm that you understand this statement

CP: Never mind, goodbye,

ICIC: Madam just to confirm that you are now saying you wish to end this conversation, I would like to thank you for calling ICIC, and wish to ask you to call you again, so we can help you with any problems you may have.

CP: (Incredulous silence, before slamming the phone down.)

12 comments:

Jdid said...

some of these customer service people are so blasted stupid! i hate having to ever call them

Miz JJ said...

I hate dealing with customer service people on the phone. Hate it. Although, this one takes the cake.

Leon said...

I know these telemarketers. All they wanna hear from you is "yes" or "no", just to bump up their commission.

Andrew said...

Kinda sounds like American Express to me...

SimplEnigma said...

Confession (taking a page from my last comment, please just listen and don't judge me):

Our IT customer service is outsourced to India. Whenever I have a computer problem, I often sabotage my computer (unplugging a wire or uninstalling an application) so an onsite (English-speaking) person has to come down and fix it, instead of calling customer service because I know they're idiots reading from scripts.

I justify the sabotage by telling myself I'm helping to keep another job in America. My little contribution to the economy.

Lene said...

that is frustrating... i guess you aint getting that high interest savings account then, eh?

Ness said...

Sorry to hear this CP.. You sympathized with me over my hassles with so-called customer service people, so I'm sending love & good vibes back your way now the frustration's in your court...

My Dad decided that when telemarketers from India call him, he tells them about his problems, his business and so on. Once one of them asked why he was telling him about his problems finding distributors for his product and my Dad responded, "well, you're telling me about things I'm not interested in - why can't I do the same?"

Or if you're slightly busier than my Dad, you can do like my friend SE and deliberately sabotage to get help from a real, local (and possibly good-looking) guy ;^)

GC (God's Child) said...

actually I like the confirming and reconfirming of what I have just said. I feel like "here is a man who is listening to me". And I love that the accent neutralization didn't quite work. What can I say? I love me some Indian customer service. It's just so sexy.And a little miscommunication is to be expected in all great fantasies.

Stephen Bess said...

LOL! This was soooo funny!! :)

Crankyputz said...

Ness: Your dad is a genius. My dad loves to toy with them too, pretending to be the child of the house, who doesn't understand what they are saying...

Simple Enigma: So you like real support eh....seems a better way to go, until you realise you have to actually wait for a week for them to come by....sigh..

GC: You think their accent is cute, god bless you! Honestly I found this fella more funny than irritating, but their lack of customer service just didn't give me a great feeling for the supposed growing Indian economy...

Andrew: American Express, Hewlitt Packard, and every other freakin company out there...

ms. complexity said...

HA HA HA@ this story and all the responses...oh girl, I needed a good laugh!!
Gwans with ING Direct or HSBC...I just opened one up with HSBC online, NO HASSLES. Bun fyah!

SimplEnigma said...

Hmmm, so not only does Ms. Complexity share my name (Simplenigma and Simple Complexity are one and the same), we appear to have the same banking tendencies...hmmm...interesting.