Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Demise of the Crooner

I called Crooner today. It was eleven and the call went straight to his voicemail. So I cleverly left a message, about how jealous I was that he was still asleep. I got a call back almost instantly, and in a curt voice he informed that he was not asleep and was not a bum. I laugh it off, and ask what he has been up to for the week, share my own goings on. Then he brings up the point that we still haven’t gotten together. I decide that this is it, I am going to get biblical on his A&&. So I say, “Ask and Ye Shall receive.”

Silence.
Then Crooner says, “Well I don’t date.”

(Now men of the world I ask you, if you don’t date, why do you ask a girl for her number, flirt with her shamelessly, ask her where she is going to be and randomly show up and get all huggy feely? Why not just be a ‘friend’ and ask my views on philosophy and shake my hand at the end of the night, instead of trying to grab my posterior?)

I say, “Well ok then…”
Crooner says, “What does that mean?”
CP, “Well when a man says he doesn’t date, it is usually not a good thing, and usually requires a few Doctor Phil interventions.”
Crooner (all upset and insulted,) “How come girls have so many hang ups and issues?”

To which I sigh. How do I have the issues? I didn’t even ask him to date, if he had said lets meet for a drink, or go see a movie; I wouldn’t have taken up signs marching up and down the street proclaiming we were dating. But if the first thing a fella says to you is I don’t date, you have to wonder what he’s going to say later on, I don’t do relationships, I don’t want to get married, I don’t want kids, I don’t like your parents, I don’t like your hair today, I don’t I don’t I don’t. Also what part of dating does he find objectionable, is he going to be like the shyster and split everything even keel? Jeez Louise….issues!

So I say, “Alrighty well Taryiho, Gotta go”

So Now I’m singing the Barry white Song, “Kiss and Say Goodbye” as an ode to the demise of the crooner.

15 comments:

Jdid said...

so basically homie was juss looking for a booty call? damn if only i had known you could do that sort of stuff when i was younger since I assume some women must fall for it if he still uses it

oh well your reservations were correct so nuh bother wid 'im

SimplEnigma said...

You failed the Critical Reasoning part of the SATs too? Damn, I thought it was just me. LOL.

He's insulted cos' you didn't whine and carry on like he expected. Men aren't used to the Dismissive Woman - especially when he's a goodlooking bloke.

This was definitely a Starving Artist in the making.

Abeni said...

Ummmm...good riddance I'd say

George said...

Perhaps he goes from a first meeting to marriage?

The OE said...

Perhaps he read a man hating blog somewhere and ...

Silk Cotton Jumbie said...

No wonder I can't get a woman to go out with me... these bloddy idjits spoiling things for decent men everywhere. Sigh... sometimes I does see these looks in allyuh eye eh...

Crankyputz said...

OE: Now I resent that, I happen to love men. There is no hating going on here. Fact relating, but no hating.

Stephen Bess said...

Ahhh...the ol' "I'm not dating." I remember those days when I was just completely afraid of a "real" relationship. :) As men, we hopefully grow into someone who can handle a healthy "real" relationship with a nice mature and beautiful woman. I arrived there right before 30 years of age. I hope that this brother makes it as well. Worst case scenario is that he remains this way through the age of 40. At that point...??

Enjoy your weekend. Peace~

bitsandgiggles said...

Stupid musicians. Stupid hang-ups. "I don't date." Conveniently, you don't date fools.

*sigh*

But it would have been nice to squeeze a dinner out of him.

SimplEnigma said...

LMAO @ "squeeze and dinner out of him"...

She'd probably have to pay...no, it'd definitely be a shyster situation. Unless dude has a day job, he's not footing the bill for dinner.

Island Spice said...

hahahha lol @ SE: starving artist in the making!! hahahhaha

girl, so long farewell to le crooner..

Miz JJ said...

As soon as you tell the truth about men you are man hating. Lol. Anyhow, you were right to cut that off right away. It was never going to lead anywhere good. Saying you do not date is just an excuse to keep things casual so he can "not date" as many women as possible. The crooner is a player. Or a wanna be player.

Trouble said...

I thought the Manhattans sang that song...

Crankyputz said...

Trouble: You had to spoil it....yeah they did but Barry did a version....

B&G: I honestly think the point of his No Dating policy was to avoid forking out dinner money. Sigh.....people miss the bigger picture aspect...

Lene said...

that guy is a douche, plain and simple. what man hollas at a woman and then goes, "i dont date" well, the conclusion would be if he doesnt date then he $#@%.

lame, lame and more lame. he wants two rockstone inna his head.