Wednesday, March 28, 2007

When speed Dating is Necessary!

I met him last year at our company golf tournatment. He was part of the registered massage therpy team we hired to handle the event. Seemed like a nice guy, we chatted, joked, he said call me.

And I thought to myself, massage therapist, nice fella, I should call. And so I did.

We chatted, and chatted, and chatted, for about a year. We never met up.

I lost interest quickly. I figure if a man doesn't make an effort to see you, chances are you don't really want to see him.

Then last week, he starts calling me down, says we have to meet up, how about Saturday. I idly agree. Give me a call Saturday...and he does. But I am busy, ghetto whinning, so I say call me mid week. He says how about Wednessday. I say sure. And he calls again, right after work like clock work. So I say, what heck, he's making the effort, lets meet.

I walk into the joint, and he meets me at the door. Wearing an oversize yellow sweatshirt that is mustard yellow. He looks like my eighteen year old brother on a sunday. We get to the table and he makes the preliminary chit chat. We order drinks, and he finishes his in seconds. Then he says "Oh I only have thirty dollars on me, But I want another drink."

He proceeds to order a beer, and when the beer comes, he opens up his wallet, and begins to count his cash, including change. He opens up the dessert menu, and begins to add up the costs. He points to both his drinks and says, "ten dollars, plus apple pie, which would be another seven dollars, plus taxes, hmm not sure ill have enough." And he looks at me hopefully, like Ill be contributing to his shortfall. (He somehow misses my horrified and incredulous stare.) Then he begins to talk about how he never wakes up before one pm but how he is working hard to grow his business.

Eventually he gets to the topic of women, and how he doesn't like dating women from Toronto. Apparently the city spoils us. (It somehow never occours to him, that men like him 'spoil us' and not in a good way.)

I have never drunk a glass of wine so fast in my life. Twenty minutes later I am making excuses about an early conference. I practically scream for the waiter to bring us the bill.

And then the clincher.

He tries to short change me. I've had one drink, and he tries to take all the change.

Eventually i got my money, and he attempted to walk with me to the parking lot.

I was about ten steps ahead, and did a cusory wave back.

Men of the world, if you invite a woman out, please oh please be able to afford the $5 drink, wear something that shows us you care (after all chances are, I took a shower, did my hair and wore make up,) and most of all don't tell us how much you hate women....... if for nothing else but a good first impression.


Jdid said...

you sure know how to pick um.

I'd never think of doing anything like that if I invited someone out. i mean i'd probably be more like in my head thinking ok lets skip the desert or cussing myself that funds tight but not aloud on a date. wow!

GC (God's Child) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GC (God's Child) said...

yes, if it was speed dating he would not have wanted to pay the cover or even show up on time probably so you would never have been subjected to all this in the first place. A coworker of mine tried it this past weekend. She said it's alright.

SimplEnigma said...


Sorry...ok, I'm


Ok, I've gotten it all out.

That, my dear, was no Turtle. Congratulations, m'dear, you have officially met a certified Flake.

The Flakes are only good for one thing - noncommittal sex if, and when YOU feel like it. No dates, no going out as friends, no invitations to public events - nothing but scratching the occcasional itch. But be forewarned, it might be difficult even setting that up.

jennifer starfall said...

oh my god, almost the exact same thing happened to a friend of mine not too long ago...

men are idiots.

Miz JJ said...

I swear I am going to be single forever when I hear those stories. Seriously. So depressing. This girl I use to know when on a date with a dude. He ordered four drinks, steak and dessert. She is not a drinker so she had sparkling water and a chicken salad. Do you know when the bill came this foolio was trying to split it in half? I can not get over men. Like at all.

I love the bit about your screaming for the bill. Hee.

bitsandgiggles said...

OH MY GOD. I have a completely horrified look on my face, too. First of all...BEER AND APPLE PIE? Ew. Sweatshirt? Ew. Counting money? Ew. Trying to short change you? Ew. Perhaps if he'd get his ass out of bed earlier he'd be more successful.

You handled it like a lady, which is totally more than he deserved.

Crankyputz said...

Jdid: Thank you, Who counts their money out on the table at our age? I mean when your five and your allowance comes in change ok....but now? In the age of master card and debit....SERIOUSLY??

GC: Am laughing about the cover charge Comment

SE: hehhe....girl if I had your phone number last night, would you have heard a few things about turtles...but your right this one was an undercover flake...stealing my change....

Miss JJ & Jen: I wanna hope this isn't becoming a common trend, but experience and others tells me its so....

B&G; when he said, bye and Ill call you soon, I almost laughed in his face....

Lene said...

that is unbelievable. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. that is a damn shame. well, i know you have caller id and call block, so please use it. lol =)