Friday, May 11, 2007

(What my plant should look like!)

I’m a little sleepy today. And I think I accidentally killed my office plant with too much love.

My old department gave me the plant as a parting gift and assured me that it was ‘death proof." All I had to do they said was water it and give it light. They made it sound so easy. I was determined to prove that I could be a good mum. So I ordered a lamp, dedicated to providing my precious with artificial light, since I got down graded to an office without a window (I know the nerve.) And every single day I gave the little thing all my left over water at the end of the day; Bottled Aqua Fina water, only the highest grade for my precious. I thought that bottle water would be akin to high grade fuel, and I was confident that my precious would prosper.

Only my ‘death proof’ plant is being obstinate. Despite the mineral water, endless hours of fake light, and tender looks I shower upon it each day, it insists on wilting away. First the flowers started to droop and eventually died. Now the leaves are being bitchy and getting brown. The nerve. And the smart alecs that drop by my office pointing out its impending demise are not helping. I gave it everything I could, if it insists on dying. Well I wash my hands of the insolent thing. Perhaps another cosmic indication that I should not be having kids?

17 comments:

Kingston Girl said...

maybe it's the finest mineral water that's doing it. maybe it really requires the extra additives that come in dirty tap water!

alternatively, plants don't tend to like artifical light as much as real light so 1) it's not your fault and 2) you need to use it as an excuse to get an office with a window!

Jdid said...

I think you're overwatering. If you overwater you can kill the roots. most plants dont require water everyday. the soil should be moist-ish but it can be dry too they wont die. i only water my houseplants once a week and maybe spray the leaves once or twice.

oh and i'd probably just give it normal water. thats probably closer to rain water than the stuff with all the impurities etc removed.

GC (God's Child) said...

I'm with Jdid. Wait until the soil gets dry before you water it.

bitsandgiggles said...

Over-watering gets my vote, too.

Good luck!

Leon said...

I guess artificial light is nothing compared to the real thing.

Silk Cotton Jumbie said...

Hmm. One lil plant and yuh kill it. And here I am in England, with meh podeina, meh fever grass, meh congo pepper, meh bandanya (chadon beni), meh poinsettia, meh strawberries, meh lucky chinese money bamboo (I ent even sure is de right name), meh tomatoes all growing in lil pots.

Natural tap water at room temperature (in England ah have to mix hot and cold) and some little food pellets once a month.

The one plant that did dead like semp was a lil bonsai because the roots bind up so much, that even soaking it overnight in a sinkful of water didn help the soil absorb any moisture. But then again, I get it like that.

I thinking bout posting some pics on meh blog but I ent want you give meh plant 'maljew'. Heh, heh, heh.

Crankyputz said...

Jumbie, Yuh Juss Showin off...

Others: I told ya guys I killed it with too much love, I've stoped watering, but the damn thing is still being stubborn.

Miz JJ said...

I hate plants. Too much responsibility. Just chuck it in the garabage can and be done with it. When people ask say it committed suicide and it hurts you to talk about it.

Silk Cotton Jumbie said...

CP, I know I showing off. :-)
Check meh blog.

Your plant would turn yellow if it had too much water, not brown. Sounds like the roots got a little cramped. Nothing that 10 minutes and a knife won't cure. Just pull 'er outa de pot, slice the root smaller all around, leaving a somewhat solid core that can regrow, then put back all the soil and old roots in the same pot and replant. Old roots rot and feed the plant.

Water well. That's what I did to my poinsettia in the pics I posted. And as you will see, it works.

Silk Cotton Jumbie said...

Oh, and instead of bottled water, throw your used teabag into a cup of water, give it a few shakes then water your plant with that. 1 teabag to a litre of water so you have enough for a week there easy. Hopefully the water won't be too hot. :-)

The OE said...

Maybe it had nothing to do with the water, maybe you and your plant just had a bad relationship.

Abeni said...

The two of you were not meant to be...casting pearl before swine and all that:)

SimplEnigma said...

I have a friend that no matter how much I try to expose her to nice restaurants and ting, she'll inevitably want to eat at Fridays, or Applebees.

Maybe your plant is like my friend. Tap water, less frequently and you're good to go. Besides, there's probably some stuff in bottled water that is anti-plant growth anyway.

No reflection on your childrearing abilities, BTW. Now if you kill a puppy, that's a different story. LOL.

SimplEnigma said...

I have a friend that no matter how much I try to expose her to nice restaurants and ting, she'll inevitably want to eat at Fridays, or Applebees.

Maybe your plant is like my friend. Tap water, less frequently and you're good to go. Besides, there's probably some stuff in bottled water that is anti-plant growth anyway.

No reflection on your childrearing abilities, BTW. Now if you kill a puppy, that's a different story. LOL.

inciquay said...

send me an address and I'll ship you a clipping of my office plant. I always forget to water it (for months) and it never dies, coughs, or even gets a sniffle, although when I finally do give it a drink it perks up nicely within minutes! Oh and it doesn't even need sunlight (woe is me and my windowless office)!

Trouble said...

Cranky... All these people giving you a hard time 'cause you have a black-thumb... You've probably sealed the poor thing's fate, but for future reference...

Aquafina is really just municipal tap-water that has been filtered, ozonated and re-mineralized by Pepsico using a patented process and specialized machinery. It has not proven to contain chlorine or chloramine which is the leading cause of brown leaves in houseplants. The trace minerals added back to the RO water tend to contain Potassium Chloride and flouride which some ferns and spider plants are particularly susceptible to.
The other main cause is that some plants [and you would need to identify yours] are adapted to humid regions, and no amount of watering can replace the moisture that is lost through their leaves' transpiration, the over-watering will only serve to rot the root structure.
Place a dish of small pebbles [small aquarium gravel is good] under the pot, an inch or so wider than the plant-pot base, and keep water in this dish. It will assist with drainage and the evaporating water will help to moisturize the air around the leaves if your office is typically arid. Misting or spraying the leaves will keep them clean, but will not help a lack-of-moisture problem at all, it is external to the transpiration process.
Check that the roots are not bound or rotted as jdid & scj mentioned.
...and putting a lamp over it may be doing it more harm than good as they produce heat and can speed the drying out process... also, unless it has a 'full-spectrum' bulb capable of reproducing most of the sun's light wavelengths, it will be inadequate.
Lastly, you can't live on water alone... Neither can your plant... Feed the damn thing with a plant-food pellet now and again...
Trust me, I grow my plants fully submerged underwater, and that's even harder...

All that being said, on second thoughts... Just go with the fake...

Crankyputz said...

Trouble you write your on post...lol...

I like the last reccomendation the best, infact I was in Ikea the other day and got myself a huge, healthy faker, death proof..... perhaps when I am ready to have kids Ill get one of those annoying trial dolls.