Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Trials & Tribulations of a Cool Breeze

The weather network promised a cool 25 degrees today.

They lied,

It was about 30 degrees at six am, when I drove all the way over to Brampton.

And then Map quest lied about Dixon road being right off the 401.

Finally I got into work, and I was red from all the heat and driving around.

So I decided that the time had come to break out my new fan.

I found my new fan sitting in its pretty box in my office, doubling as my second side table.

I opened up the box, anticipating the cool breeze and to my dismay, I realized that the stupid fan was all chopped up and required ‘assembly.’

I got over my initial shock and fished out all the parts, opened up the instructions and got to work. Thinking to myself I am a daughter of a handy man, how hard could this be??

First I was supposed to assemble the base of the fan. But I decided that the plastic base, which seemed to have no real substantial purpose, wasn’t really my thing. Next I assembled the grill, the grill nut (why is it called a nut? It doesn’t look like a nut,) and the blade. I tested the blade, closing my eyes to imagine the wonderful breeze which would soon be blowing my way. Then came the blade nut.

The stubborn bloody blade nut, refused to go where it was supposed to go. I tried to get the damn thing in for about twenty minutes, and then decided ‘Who really needs a blade nut?” Seriously. I was thinking of doing an audit of the fans in the area to see if the blade nut was imperative, but I was melting, so on came the other grill and in went the plug.

Now I am basking in the blissful breeze of a half assembled fan, and so if you do read one of those “The Stupidest ways to Die” new's lines about an employee who got accidentally decapitated because she was too lazy to put in the blade nut….well you’ll know who they were on about….


Miz JJ said...

LMBAO. I have the opposite problem. They keep our office cool. Freezing is another description. They claim that they maintain the same temperature all year long that being 22 degrees celsius, but I do not believe them.

I hope I do not read about you in tomorrows paper.

GC (God's Child) said...

good luck with that
I bet you wouldn't do that with a salad though

Leon said...

Guess handyman skills aren't hereditary.

Jumbie said...

The grill nut screws in counter clockwise. The fan blades spin the same way, keeping the nut tight. If the nut was clockwise, it'd run loose everytime you turn your fan on.

Are you trying for a Darwin Award?

Jumbie said...

Whoops, that line should read "The fan blades spin the opposite way..."

Adrian said...

Two of my offices are normally freezing, the last time I checked the temperature it was 16C. My other office with the lots of people is normally warm though, I see some fans there every now and then.

fans in the office = tacky in my books.

ms. complexity said...