Monday, July 30, 2007


To the society of Supreme Imbeciles and Dunces:

I wish to formally apply for membership.

Not only do I have trouble letting go, I am always supremely surprised when a self proclaimed play boy, plays on with a smile.

I have thus determined that I am thick headed. I have not formally taken an IQ test, but it seems to me that while I may excel at useless subjects such as philosophy and geometry, I seem to fail miserably in the area of common sense. A great example of this is that against reason my tear ducts seem to be leaking. This has resulted in a puffy raccoon look.

I realize that time heals all, blah blah blah, however, due to the constant repetitive nature of such situations I feel that joining your illustrious society is apt.

Please send me the appropriate hat, so that all others will be forewarned of my utter incompetence.

Sincerely,
Cranky Putz.

Ps. I am in desperate need of a new heart. My current one seems to have sustained irreparable damage. Please send it to the new address.

14 comments:

blog Portland said...

There's a difference between being generally dumb, and relationship dumb. The first groups are the ones called imbeciles, with the latter referred to as "everyone."

As for the heart, I hear Dick Cheney has a good line on the gently used baboon variety, shipped direct from the Serengeti. Although you're going to have to pay out the ass to get it through customs.

GC (God's Child) said...

you need a war song
you can have "Tears Dry on their Own"
I'm finished with it now.

Adrian said...

look at it this way.. on to bigger and better things :D

whats a war song?

Miz JJ said...

Funny I was just listening to MeShell Ndegeocello "Fool of Me". I start off with that one and end up singing "Golden" by Jill Scott. It happens to the best of us darling.

Jumbie said...

Hey, I have some years on you, and I'm sure I made a lot more mistakes than you.

I'm still wearing the stupid hat. It isn't easy, I figure it gets a bit weighty at times... still, I'm learning, and healing.

I hope it gets better.

Andy said...

Dont worry girl ... we've all picked up the hat and worn it atleast once ... You'll be okay.

George said...

The hat shrinks with washing and eventually doesn't fit any longer.

Be well

spuyten duyvil said...

So apparently my comment earlier didn't take. Damn, I hate when that happens.

When you find out the application process, lemme know...I wanna join too.

SimplEnigma said...

oh, btw, spuyten duyvil is me...for some reason it's not linking my info. Sorry...

Jdid said...

oh whoa is you

Leon said...

Don't worry. Common sense isn't common anyway. Sorry 'bout your heart. Take greater care in choosing your lovers.

Marika said...

You can come over and watch DVDs here if you like. I have my hat permanently stapled to my head, so we'll match.

Hope you feel better soon.

Abeni said...

girl,I need it too. It will get better though

kimba said...

hmmmmm
I wonder why we aren't all lesbians..
=/