Dearest Cranky Putz:
We thank you for your recent submission. Enclosed is your laundry list of irrational fears with our expert comments,
I am fat. –Remedy, Start Tae Kwan Do again CP, this Saturday, aim to go to a minimum of three classes a week, you’ve paid for it. Everyone thinks their fat, and most of the time they are right. Maybe not fat in the obsese OMIGOD 'how do you get out of the house kind of way,' but in the ‘I’m not the right weight for my body type’ kind of way. Your mid section has been increasing at an alarming rate. And your clothes are getting very snug. Time to face a little reality and do something about it.
Dracs is in a relationship with someone else.-Remedy, Um did you not see him with someone else? Understand that he does not want you, if he did he would be with you, simple as that. Also its not if he is in a relationship with someone else, it is that he is. Accept and get over it. If you do care about him, you will be happy that he is with someone, and know that eventually you will meet someone, it is the law of averages. Also stop answering his calls. It’s the least you can do to get yourself some space and peace of mind.
I can’t afford this condo-You can and you have. It’s done, stop worrying about what is already done.
I can’t afford to buy stuff for the condo-Most of the stuff is bought, you were smart, you went ahead and bought a ton of stuff already. The sofa will work out, and everything else you can buy later.
I am going to die all alone-Maybe, but then everyone in the world dies alone. You can’t take anyone with you to the other side. Get over it.
I am all alone, no one’s here to help me out- So your parents can’t really give you any money right now. This was your own venture, remember? This is the first real adult thing you are doing all on your own. Yes it is freaking scary, but most of all, its really really good. It’s a major accomplishment. Huge. Be proud of yourself. And everyone is out there to help you. Your real estate agent, your mortgage guy, all the wise people who keep dropping off mortgage referrals…..everyone. Also remember God helps those who help themselves. Stop being whinny and help yourself.
I’m never going to fall for anyone again.- You may not in the next year. But you will eventually, because let’s face it, you’re a sappy person. You secretly believe in true love and all that crap. You believe in it a little too much, which is why you’re always surprised when things don’t end right. Let’s try to be more realistic going forward.
My life is out of my control-No it’s not, nothing is even happening.
The market crashes and my condo is worth nothing-Markets go up and Markets go down. It is cyclical. Life is cyclical. Forgetting this, is like pretending your never going to die….in your case…all alone…waaaahhhhh.
The Society of Irrational Fears & Obsessions
Ps. As you can see we are wise beyond our years, failure to act upon these recommendations will result in your list being elevated to the society of Actual Fears & Obsessions….