Tuesday, October 16, 2007


To the Society of Indian Women,

We Indian Women are great at certain things.

The Kama Sutra, yeah we invented that and none of us, needs to read it, its part of our DNA. And Tantric Sex, hello Mr. Sting, please stop letting out our secrets.

Dancing, we are fabulous dancers, just look at the movies, get past the tacky screens, the endless clash of colors, and you will see us shimmy and bounce our way through three hours without breaking a sweat, whilst simultaneously changing outfits…..(Where did you guys think the Quick Change Artist Act from America’s got Talent got the idea from?)

We are a pretty people too. Over the years we’ve have a Miss World and a Miss Universe. And our gals are not just beautiful, their articulate, smart.

Smart….we are super smart too. As Russell Peter’s points out, we are the world’s accountants, doctors, lawyers, uhm Human Resource Managers (it is a job just as important as a doctor….well according to my mother when she’s boasting)…

We are also great family gals. We are loyal, proficient in the art of home making. And we are world renowned cooks. Well some of us are.

Turns out I am not one you in this respect.

I know this because I got home today determined to make chappatis. I got out the flour, read and re-read the recipe, made a huge mess. And you know what, it flopped. My chappatis, came out looking 10 days old, instead of soft and supple. Never you mind I was determined to eat something Indian today, so I then decided to make a simple polough. Sigh…..it looked so easy all those years mum did it. Anyway both were utter disasters….well not utter, but really….sad excuses for what they were to be….

I thus urge you to quickly send me a recipe, and very detailed instructions, I will not rest till I am in the top tier of world chappati makers….

Yours with complete and Utter resolution,
Cranky Putz

13 comments:

Jim said...

Don't feel bad, I ate a Tim Horton's Chili that I had been craving tonight for dinner.

But man is that girl gorgeous! Some white girls can be sexy or "hot", but very few can be gorgeous and stunning like the woman in your picture :)

PS: Add me to facebook; I can't find the "Cranky Putz".

Crankyputz said...

thanks for the word's of comfort Jim, but gosh damn it i am going to be an excellent Indian cook....

I shall add u, us Cranky's are top secret...

The OE said...

That explains the pictures...

Stunner said...

I love Indian women. Yes I agree they are very pretty, only thing lacking to me is the ass! But they indeed beautiful.

Don't even mention Indian food, mi love that gone to bed!

Fiyah said...

Indian women are pretty! But, to be honest, I am so hung up on this notion that they are so chaste and innocent that they lack a certain sexual attraction for me. I just think that they won't be freaky enough... then you reminded me about the Kama Sutra and the numerous times an Indian girl has surprised me in deed and words...

Mad Bull said...

Them really pretty for true. CP, I am SURE you have had many miss worlds and perhaps more than one miss universe. Stunner has a point though. Perhaps the Indian / Black mix is best. you might get the best of both worlds! Ask the Trinis, they should know. Hee hee!

GC said...

CP
don't give up. You can master the chappatis. Practice makes perfect. I believe in you.

soumynona said...

There are so many beautiful women in the world, it would be hard for me to pick a favorite. Indian women are gorgeous indeed and (Fiyah) please believe that there are so Indian women with nice bottoms, really nice, i.e. Kim Kardashian. As far as the Kuma and the cooking goes, well let's just say every if its a part of your genetic code then perhaps it takes some longer to perfect certain skills =>

Jdid said...

kim kardashian is Armenian actually not indian. so chipatti's turned out bad hmmm, thats not a good start.

gishungwa said...

What you need

* two cups all-purpose flour (or whole-wheat flour, or a mixture of the two), sifted
* one teaspoon salt
* warm water
* cooking oil

What you do

* All ingredients should be allowed to come to room temperature if they have been in the refrigerator. Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Slowly mix in enough water to make a thick dough. Mix in one spoonful oil. Knead dough on a cool surface for a few minutes, adding a few spoonfuls of dry flour. Return dough to the bowl, cover with a clean cloth, and let it rest for thirty minutes.
* Lightly grease (with cooking oil) and pre-heat a skillet or griddle.
* Divide the dough into orange-sized balls. Flatten them into six-inch circles. Fry them in the skillet or griddle, turning once, until each side is golden brown and spotted.
* Cover the finished chapatis and place them in a warm oven until they are all done.
* Serve with butter, and any curry, soup, or stew.


If that doesnt work go for the premade ones.

The Comedy of Errors Called Me said...

LOL @ if that doesn't work go for the premade ones.

ur still fabulous cranky putz!!

Leon said...

I heart Indian chicks. In fact, my first crush was an Indian girl. No lie.

catnapping said...

Your colours do NOT clash. And I love chapatis, especially warm.