Monday, November 26, 2007

Does persistence pay?

This weekend I had a group of friends over, and one of the couples began to tell their “How we met and got married story.” The guy knew this was the girl for him, the girl was very iffy, but in the end the guy’s persistence paid off.

Mr. Lube has been calling me. Not in a stalker annoying kind of way, but in a polite ‘Can would like to see you again kind of way.’ I’ve ignored about three calls and three texts. Last night he calls again, and again his message is nice, polite, can I make the time to call him back??…and I can’t find a good enough reason not to call him back. It’s rather bitchy of me not to. I mean he isn’t asking for anything crazy, he just wants to hang out. So I return his call and ofcourse he wants to do something, and I have no choice but to agree.

My heart isn’t in this one. I know your supposed to give everyone a chance, but I’m all about heart, and if your heart isn’t in it, why bother??

Also if a girl doesn’t return your calls, isn’t it a sign, perhaps impolite, but really a big sign. I feel like his persistence has roped me into doing something I don’t want to do. It’s always the wrong ones that have all the determination.

22 comments:

Miz JJ said...

I am a firm believer in the fact that attraction can grow. You may not be attracted to him right now, but you may be if you get to know him. At the very least you might make a guy friend. Also, maybe I am just getting old, but all that romantic explosion, excitement and butterflies isn't all it's cracked up to be.

GC said...

well, actually, I'm with Miz JJ. I've known of at least 2 couples who were like that in the beginning. One just got married in September. The other got married last December.
I mean, polite and persistent are two awesome qualities. PLUS he knows cars.

Ness said...

I don't know... It never is the ones you want to chase you who do... sigh

I'm a big believer in chemistry. And if the chemistry isn't there from the beginning, then it's going to be hard to feel it later on.

That said, I told a guy he was an unfortunate piker (ie a flake) for constantly not coming thru, and kept not returning his calls. Initially he came back with a vengeance, and then once I'd shown interest again, he became a piker once more.

Maybe it really is the thrill of the chase - if you go out with him maybe he'll stop calling?

Jdid said...

its not always about the ones who make your heart flutter from the get go. sometimes you meet them, fall in love at first site and realize later on what complete asses they are.

sometimes its the ones that you meet that you're like whatever and then after spending a bit of time together you discover something magical about them

and persistence does pay off. I've got bredren that were putting in foundation from long time gwan and finally after much persistence got the relationship going. guess the girls say to themselves well if he's that much into me that he's willing to try for so long i may as well give him a chance

Jumbie said...

The problem is the fragile ego of the male.. we feel spurned if you delay too long. (^_^)

Pros and cons.. whats to like bout Lube, and whats not to like?

by the way, can I make a lube job joke now?

Crankyputz said...

Jumbs, Go for it...

Jdid: IT's true....either way I postponed till next week,

Ness: I went out with him once, my charming personality got him hooked....

Miz J and GC: but somethings missing, you gotta have a lil spark, a lil fire.. a lil somthin, somthin

Grant Miller said...

Persistence pays, but not well.

dalia said...

co-sign on the first three commenters... i dear friend of mine is married to a great guy who didn't make her heart flutter upon first meeting. and they've been married for almost 20 years.

you and i are kindred; we need that bup-bup (of the heart? gunfire?) before we think that we're interested.

and ness is so right... it's never the ones you're into who chase you. i think it's murphy's law of attraction or something.

and hey, maybe mr. lube may well live up quite nicely to his alias?

: P

Abeni said...

These things are never easy..maybe he will grow on you

Radmila said...

Fate takes care of these things.

A chance is not a horrible thing to take...it doesn't hurt.

I think dalia may be speaking of me in her comment above?

It's true, my heart didn't flutter when I first met the mister, but his persistence and personality grew on me...grew into the love of my life. The spark did come. It just wasn't immediate...it doesn't hurt to give a chance.
I sometimes wonder what my life would have been had I dismissed him.

bitsandgiggles said...

I need a spark, but sometimes I'll go out with them anyway if I feel in need of the attention. It's not pretty, but it's the truth.

So, go out for something quick, like coffee...and then just don't call him again.

Christie said...

I am torn on this one really. I knew right away, but Jay didn't. But we both felt a connection and couldn't be away from each other. I think you need instant connection, and more can come of that. If you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

SimplEnigma said...

Well you know how I feel about fungus relationships. No one should have to grow on you. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

I don't like when people tell stories about people they know who've gotten together when they didn't initially like each other. Every situation is different and for every one of those stories there's probably another one that didn't work out. And who knows how many of those people who get married through persistence are settling? I'm not saying there should be fireworks but there should be SOMETHING. There's a difference b/w nice guy with no sparks and nice guy that at least piques your curiosity.

Dude may be a nice guy...but he may just not be the nice guy for YOU.

Go with your gut.

Radmila said...

I personally take offense to the assumption that I might have "settled". I've never "settled" for anything in my life.
What I did was grow up and allow someone who wasn't generally my "type" into my life and to my surprise found out that it was worth the effort.

People who consistently thrill seek (like I used to) like to believe and tell themselves that others have "settled" when they can't imagine how others cannot or do not fall in love the way that they do. Some love is slow, and burns...some is fast and high and goes out fast.

Everyone is different, and obviously there must be some sort of "click" between people...to insinuate that that click doesn't happen as soon as you clap eyes on each other is just not true for most people.

Crankyputz said...

Radmila, Sticks and Stones.....I don't think SE meant that you personally settled....I am glad you made the time to find that person who sparked up your entire life for the long haul...

Radmila said...

P.S. E-mail me at radmila@gmail.com about paintings...

:)

Bush Babee said...

Cat Fight!

No but seriously. I have the same situation. She won't take the hints and I'm too nice to be honest cause being honest means being mean. I don't have that in me. So I play the cat and mouse game.

I have no interest in telling you what to do but I'm sure you'll do what's right for you.

Peace.

Radmila said...

...also, Thank you CP...I realize that the comment wasn't a personal one.
I just had to point out a sweeping generalization made of people who
"settled" for someone who didn't drop them to their knees the minute they
met.

dalia said...

what? what the heck did i miss up in here? yes, rada, i was referring to you. i love your story, and it gives me hope that when i finally stop falling for the wrong ones, i'll clear the mud out my eyes and see the right guy standing there waiting to help me to my feet.

corny analogy, i know...

Leon said...

Persistence does pay, in love and in life. I hope my persistence pays off, as there's a girl I'm really interested in, and I'm trying my hardest to seduce her.

Melody said...

So I return his call and of course he wants to do something, and I have no choice but to agree.
NO. NO. NO. No. Non. Nein. Nyet. Don't let him control U.

Irie Diva said...

i'm with SE on this one