Friends: When your girlfriends pitches you the following be wary:
Wanna go to New York?
I have a friend whose boyfriend has a huge (much emphasis was made on huge) house we can crash it!
It’s huge and he’s really nice.
His friends loved us at Caribanna and want to take us around and show us the sights.
Thus unsuspectingly I boarded the chic plane at Porter Airport (highly recommended method of travel) with high expectations.
On the plane I was informed by the girlfriend of two things:
~The Boyfriend lived with him parents
~She did not like or get along with his mum
Why oh why would you invite four of your not so nearest and dearest friends to go stay with people who don’t like you for the weekend?
On arrival, we are led into the house. The Green carpets stand out immediately, so do the plethora of fake plants, strewn in every nook and cranny.
We are led into a middle room. Most of the chairs are covered in plastic and there is a glass case containing an odd collection of dolls. Once again the green carpet is the focus.
There is no where for us to put our bags, there appears to be no plan for us to set up shop anywhere, instead we sit uncomfortably on the sofas, making little plastic sounds every time we shift bum cheeks. The boyfriend repeatedly tells us to relax, we are home, enjoy!
Then Medusa aka the mum arrives. She is a big, big woman. She grunts at us in welcome and takes a breath.
The she says:
‘Girls, I Ave sumthing to say ‘fore you get too cosy, yes. This is my house, neva mind what my son my say, Aye pay the bills, so yuh know Aye’m in charge. Aye expect you to behave yourselves, do not put yuh feet up on my couch (at which point CP discretely lowers her folded leg into the green carpet,) if at the end of this weekend I see feet prints on my couch, I will blame yuh. Don’t make any noise, Aye have to go to work,
And she goes on for about ten minutes.
And she ends with, “So please feel like this is your home”
Ps. I have to put a disclaimer here, that in the past all other Trini's I have ever been exposed to, have been the most giving folks ever.....