To the Society of Romantics and Misled Hopefuls,

Lately I have had the great joy of seeing Draconian with his new girlfriend on two separate occasions. She’s young, perky, exotic and beautiful. Karma, dear society, is a fat ole bitch.

I have also had the joy on going on dates, many, many, many dates.

Bachelor #1: is in Sales, a gentleman, but I’m not sure I felt the spark, however he has been consistently calling every day (not in an annoying fashion) to check in. I will be going on Date #2 for further verification.

Bachelor #2: Underwhelming in person. He invited me for lunch and to buy jeans with him. He did not get my polite suggestion of hiring a personal shopper for the jean shopping, but I decided to give it a try.
At lunch I found out he liked techno music (Tostito who?,) lived in Mississauga and hated driving into the city (I love the city,) his parents are divorced, he likes to collect seaweed or something watery, likes to dance 'crazy' as he put it, (I had visions of him bashing his head around.) The bill came and we ‘split it.’ Sigh! As we shopped he kept talking about clothes, in a manner that can be best be related to the gay community. Also I don't like shopping for other people (Personal insight here.) He drove a beat up Honda from 91, because it was reliable and didn't die. I begged my leave an hour later, and got a txt saying he had a great time and when can we hang out again. A classic case of optics vs. things in common. Also he was apparently on another date. Recruiters have a code for this-TBNT-Thanks but no Thanks.

Bachelor #3: Lives close by and suggested we meet for a coffee and walk at 5 pm. So I msg him at 3 pm to ask what the plan was. He replies that he hadn’t heard from me by noon and made other plans. Sigh.
Says I should pick another date and time. -TBNT


Bachelor #4: We went on a few dates. A very nice fellow, except that his head is sort of shaped like a star trek character. Also dear society he is a bore. The last time we went out, I counted him saying ‘Oh well” 27 times. –Oh well. -TBNT

Bachelor #5: Was hot sexy, fun, great, fabulous, and too young. He called me a cougar on national radio. Well not me specifically, but he defined a cougar as someone 28 and up. I checked society and a cougar is actually defined as someone 40+. Quite frankly, it made me realize that aging well is not enough. People still see you as your age, and expect you to follow the required ‘age path. I feel like a Greek goddess (excuse the obviously egotistical reference) cursed with agelessness, useless to the living, mourning my peers.

Society I am trying to live up to my promise of finding the ‘one’ or the ‘as close to the one as I can find.’ But frankly its disheartening, realizing just how many people I am incompatible with.

Help Society, HELP!

CP