I feel like a drug addict in recovery.

I have all the symptoms:
Crazy vivid dreams
Emphatic vows never to go back there
Strange compulsions & Moments of pathetic weakness when I just need one more ‘fix’
Instant regret at even thinking of getting one more ‘fix’
Moments of euphoria at suddenly being free
Followed instantaneously by utter depression at being ‘set free’

All these and I keep reciting the serenity prayer.

People on the subway are starting to get alarmed. That’s when you know you’ve hit a new low.