Wednesday, March 19, 2008

CP’s Updates

I for one am pretty shocked at how many bloggers find it odd to hang out with a friend in a non public setting, one on one, if the said friend is married/in a relationship. Where is the trust people??

Made me remember how much I hate the assumption that just because I’m single I’m gonna make a play for your man…. Hell no! Most single people I know would never touch a taken ‘person.’ Your man ain’t that hot!

Speaking of hot: I have a crush. I can’t help it. I’ve been trying to deny it. Trying to push it out of my head, but he’s there, day in and day out, running around with no shoes, in suits that cling to his perfect frame, staring ahead with his steely eyes. If you haven’t checked it out yet, ‘Hitman’ is this weeks must see movie…..and if anyone of ya’ll know Olyphant, ask him if he’s got a brother, a look alike…..(I don’t date married men!)

ObamaMesama’s speech yesterday addressing the comments made by his big mouth pastor was so refreshing, there was no ‘but I didn’t inhale’ phrases here….America could you please wake up and take this unprecedented opportunity…..

Mariah’s new song, “Touch My body” is vibrating through my head, only there is no way in hell anyone is touching my body anytime soon. It is in pain. Your darling CP thought she would try her hand at Cardio Turbo Dance. It sounded upbeat, fun, exciting. And it was, only the teacher was a stallion of a woman, who had more energy and girth than I have ever seen. I did my best, but I fully admit that by the end of the class I was a ball full of jello and could only look on hopelessly as Turbo woman power pumped her way across the floor.

What you guys up to today???


Chris said...

A married person's mentality is quite different than a single person's. I don't think most people realize this until they get married. It changes the way you think and act on things you wouldn't really have thought of when you were single.

You no longer can think as "what I would do" but you have to think about "what we would do". There are a lot of subtle things to this such as what's for dinner. A single person can eat whatever they damn well please. A married person has to agree on what to eat with their spouse.

Dynamics with your single friends usually change. Single people don't want to hang out with married people and become the third wheel. Slowly, your single friends drop off. You may see them every so often but it isn't the same. The same thing happens I think when people have children. Married with children couples hang out with other married with children couples.

And no, married people don't hang out with opposite sex single friend's apartment. Haven't you ever watched When Harry Met Sally?

Radmila said...

What Chris said.

Crankyputz said...

Ok first off, that was the longest comment I have ever recieved! (Am doing a happy dance)

Whew that was a tongue lashin!!!

Loved "When harry met Sally"

I Have been relationships where I am so involved I've forgetten my friends, have also lost friends to the void of marriage...

Just asking if there should be more balance.

Also how come all yuh married peeps seek us singles out when you got problems....ohh then yuh don't wanna chat to the other married folks!! lol

Chris said...

I Have been relationships where I am so involved I've forgetten my friends

But it still is a bit different. When you're dating and you meet someone new it's not uncommon to want to spend every spare second with that person so that you kind of forget your friends for the moment. It's exciting to be with someone new.

When you're married though it's not that you forget your old friends. The relationships just change. It's kind of like how you have high school friends and then you might go to different colleges and experience different things. The high school friends kind of fade away. Same things happen with college friends and etc. etc. People change, relationships change, etc.

I'm not sure I understand about what you mean by balance though.

Chris said...

Oh yeah, and I second Radmila's comment.

Radmila said...

Friends of the same prob.
But, I'd have a problem with my husband sharing his problems with another woman...and I know that he wouldn't take kindly to me sharing my problems with another man.

Chris is right though.
When I was single, I thought that married women and women in relationships were insecure and needy if they felt threatened by my friendship with their husbands or boyfriends. Looking back now, in some cases they had no reason to others, they damn well should have been worried.

Slippery slopes are pretty steep.

Crankyputz said...

Alrighty, I bow down to this one,

You know I also did mention Obama speech and my new crush on Olyphant!

Jdid said...

agreed with chris and radmila. cranky , you're speaking about your perception and the fact that you wouldn't do anything with a married person and thats cool but thats just you. there are a hell of a lot of single women and men out there who dont play by your rules and hence we married folks are justified in our caution.

dont you watch tv man lol

Miz JJ said...

I am going to leave all the married talk to the marrieds. I don't have a lot of married men friends who aren't married to my girls. My guy friends are single.

I loved Hitman. I just saw it this weekend. He was very sexy.

Stunner said...

I have the movie on my hard drive for some time now and still haven't got around to watch it yet. I hear the movie is good.

As for the married issue, I can't rally comment as i am still sing..., unmarried. But I am feeling the effects of this commitment thing.

Mad Bull said...

Somebody gave me that movie just yesterday, I'll probably watch it tonight. I'll tell you what I think.

Re the married man chillin' with you in his apartment, well, IMHO, even though you would never do it, he was probably hoping something could go on for him and that he would get some outside nookie.

Beware of men telling single women about problems they are having with their wives.

Mad Bull said...

Sorry, chilling in YOUR apartment...

GC said...

Hitman-check-will watch

re married man
I went to a superbowl party with the boyfriend. My single girlfriend was there. Her married male friend came and hung out with her. Then left in a huff because she went across the room and stayed too long talking to a single guy her age, remarking,"I could very well go and watch the superbowl alone at home". This man was married with two children. It was a public place. Me, my boyfriend, and my single girlfriend all thought his behavior was odd. He has a wife and children, he needs to watch superbowl with his dudes. Not some sweet young single thing. Mariage vows are serious vows. I don't encourage tempting oneself. You may have a lot of self control but your married friend may not necessarily. And even if he is a paragon of ethical behavior, his poor mind can't take it. He may never try anything with you but he may be imagining it. I believe in "shunning the very appearance of evil". And God help him if he calls out your name at the wrong moment.

Crankyputz said...

oH Lord,

How did married men get into this??

For the record I don't hang out with any married men.

For another, I always invite the girlfriend out.

Jeez Louise you guys are giving me the heebie jeebies with all this advice...

Eddo said...

What up CP!

I'm loving MC's Touch My Body as well. However, I have already moved on to Leona Lewis' - Bleeding Love. It is so amazing. The vocals. The drama. The conviction. It's got to be my favorite song of the year.

Grant Miller said...

Obama's speech was amazing.

As for the whole married people thing - I know what you mean. My wife totally won't hang out with me alone just because I'm married to her.

Warren said...

Hi CP.Read your blog alot, enjoy your comments on various issues,and a a fellow Canadian enjoy your "weather reports" as well.Would like to get 2 cents in. As a married man I do hang out with unmarried females. Have a few good ones that share pesonal stuff and seem to respect my advice.Some men have said that they cannot just be friends with any female so there are those who would probably use an opportunity to take it to the next level and in that respect I agree with Mad Bull.

Crankyputz said...

eddo: how ya doin, im gonna have to check that song out

Grant: I was waiting for that.

Warren: Thanks for the compliments, btw its freakin cold today and I have to go to Good friday Mass.

Listen I agree with all you guys, a marriage is hard enough with out all the other temptations that are floating around.

However if you've been friends with a guy/girl your entire life, and nothing ever happened, because you really are good friends, you shouldn't have to sacrfice it for a relationship. I think there are healthy ways you can bring your friendship and relationship together, without having to lie or pretend otherwise.

All this talk reminds me of that Chris Rock me, "I think I love my wife"

Everything you guys are warning against.

Radmila said...

Never mind day you'll completely understand.

The day that you're the wife ...and the "friend" is young and/or pretty and single...and you're married with responsibilities and children.

Young women are rarely mature enough care about other women. They want what they want, and your man just might be what they want.

Cynical?,'s a reality.

The OE said...

Married people should be more careful because you never know when someone will be recruited as a double agent

Jdid said...

opened up quite the can of worms havent we lol

Chris said...

I second jdid and radmila..... and I think I second grant miller too.

Hey Cranky, where's the post about Dubai's development into the Vegas of the Middle East that you promised us weeks ago??

Crankyputz said...

Ok, Im done getting a spaking here!

Btw where are all the single folks??? Peter's the lot of you!

Chris, Im writing it, but its Dubai, and you has to be puuurrrfect...

stay tuned

SimplEnigma said...

*stupse* I hate when people tell me I can't understand something because I haven't been in that situation. What am I a bloody moron?

I may have read your post differently, but I thought you were just asking why women get threatened when their S.O. (husband, BF or FB) hangs out with his single female friends. I have two great married (male) friends who are MADLY in love with their spouses, who would have no problem chillin' with me, and whose spouses have no problem with it either.

To answer your question, I don't know where the trust is. If you were a new friend, I'd honestly say I would have some issues. But if my hubby knew you from before, I would be ok with it because I would expect the same. And if my hubby had a problem with it, I'd honestly feel like he doesn't trust me.

Besides, I feel like if a dude's gonna cheat he's gonna cheat, whether he's hanging out with his female friends or not.

Radmila said...

That's ok, one day you'll understand too.

GC said...

oh yes, and where is your post about fabulous Toronto
and where are you?

Chris said...

"What am I a bloody moron?"

I wouldn't go that far but thinking that knowing more about something in theory than people who have actually experienced it is very naive.

You can read all the medical books in the world but that won't make you a doctor, you can read every military manual ever published and that won't make you a soldier. And you can watch every soap opera and read every romance novel but that won't teach you a thing about marriage.

Chris said...

BTW, I didn't mean to call Enigma the only person who is naive when it comes to marriage. I think we're all guilty of pretending we know about things we haven't yet experienced. I know I have.

Crankyputz said...


SE: I read your comment on my black berry, and instantly I felt like a big hug enveloped me....someone who actually read the post right!!!

Rad/Chris/others: I'll re-affirm that all I was righting about was not forgetting your friendships when you get into a relationship.

I mean, I guess you won't understand till you guys are single again, but us single people don't want to be looked at as a bunch of pirannas...(did I spell that right?)

We just want all groups to get along....

Que Kumbayaaaaa....


I'm sick....all this verbal whipping made me sick...yes I blame YOU!

Anyway new post is coming, all about flagging down busses on bay street....

SimplEnigma said...

I scoff at the idea that a long term committed relationship is any different than a marriage. If you've been with someone for 7,8 years, live together, etc., that is in essence a marriage. Oh wait, I guess if one didn't go to church and sign a piece of paper, then one cannot possibly understand the dynamic of a committed relationship.

Point is, no one really answered the question CP was asking, which was why when people get in any kind of serious relationship, they feel threatened by their partner hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex. I may be naïve, but you don't need to be married to answer that question.

Yes, experience counts for more, but an intelligent person (which CP obviously is) can understand if it were explained, rather than "oh you need to be in the situation". I don't need to have been pregnant to know that contractions feel like cramps once it's articulated.

Radmila said...

"Oh wait, I guess if one didn't go to church and sign a piece of paper, then one cannot possibly understand the dynamic of a committed relationship."

I thought just like you do, but marriage is quite different than living together (I did both) because of many factors. Society still respects marriage and doesn't take "common law" as seriously. It's still a fact.
Go to the bank with your live in boyfriend, and then go with your husband.
Marriage still represents and is interpreted by society as a willingness to take on responsibility.

P.S. Why would commenting on this thread be considered a doubt of CP's intelligence?
No one questioned CP's intelligence but you. Opinion was only being shared...just as you're sharing yours in your comment.

Chris said...

Go to the bank with your live in boyfriend, and then go with your husband.


Crankyputz said...

Rad: I say again that this was not a challenge to the institution of marriage, or was a question of couples separating themselves from others based on their relationship status....rather discriminatory....???

Also to all, I am all for passionate, heated debate, and in life we all tend to think we are 100% right, based on our experiences, our vast knowledge etc. I still happen to believe that even if someone else is wrong, they have some insight to offer. I would hope that everyone who reads this blog, and comments it at least tries to adhere to the same principals. You don't have to agree with me, but I do ask you to consider my point of view....