Earth Day

Toronto is a very environmentally conscious city. It took some getting used to when we came out from wasteful Dubai. I try to do my part, re-cycle, flush every other time, use the AC sparingly in the summer, , take the stairs instead of the elevator, use Brita filters instead of water bottles…. that sort of thing.

Last week everyone began to go on and on about Earth Hour; an hour in which people are asked to not use any electricity as a demonstration of solidarity towards (well I’m not entirely sure what the aim was, future preservation, unnecessary consumption etc….well something along those lines.) I was bombarded everywhere with little reminders on facebook, blogs (you know who you are) and TV. So when a friend of friend invited us out to their condo to sit around in the dark and promised us wine and food, I thought to myself, finally a tree hugger I can get down with.

On our way to Earth hour (we were late, we thought to shut off our headlights, but decided against it) we caught groups of people holding candles on various street corners. Funny part was the people, happened to be standing underneath trees decorated in lights, surrounded by neon signs that were clearly on, but hey you gotta start somewhere.

So there we were in the dark, getting increasingly inebriated, (me wearing my peace on earth, backless shirt,-dress is key when being an activist) trying to keep the conversation flowing, when we realized how much we missed a few nice things electricity gave us, for instance:

• Peeing in the dark, while romantic, can prove challenging for a man, as he becomes increasingly sloshed…..for a girl, it’s much harder to snoop in the dark (oh what I said it!)
• You miss music! Sadly we did not have our guitarist, drummer and/or sax player…to entertain us, (mental note for next earth hour…)
• All that silence and darkness is kinda creepy-like in horror movies, where people enter dark houses and begin to look around with a flash light, how much less creepy is it when you can just flip on a light??
• Hot wax can be painful
• TV- Listen here I love to read, and read, and read. But really there is no substitute for TV, none, bah!
  
  Did you guys do anything special??

I hate Sundays.

It used to be my favourite day of the week. The day when we would bust out the yellow gloves and do the washing that had been pilling up all week, or the laundry, arduously making trips down to the laundry room with our accumulated change. Sunday’s back then ended in swaying to Sade and goblets of wine.

Now, my Sunday’s go a little something like this; aching bones from an obligatory weekend of riotous drinking, kick boxing and/or partying. Lying on the couch for a couple of hours catching up on PVR, and then making a huge pot of lasagna from scratch, only to end up at 9 pm, all alone with too much food, giving myself little pep talks about faith.

Because you always have to have that conversation:

Cranks: Why didn’t you call, It was my birthday, you didn’t call for two months…why?
Jumbs: Well Cranks, yuh know, something happened, I can’t remember exactly what…
Cranks: Well let me remind you, nothing happened,
Jumbs: I’m sure something happened, I just can’t remember………..
Cranks: That’s because nothing happened…
Jumbs: I was embarrassed after, I wanted to call, but I couldn’t, so when I was in TnT I knew it was time, it was carnival, love was everywhere and I though of yuh….
Cranks: Cuz you’re a coward…
Jumbs: No, Besides yuh here liming with Lumsden..…(makes a pouty face) Sweetness why yuh carry on so, yuh know we is we,
Cranks: Well anyway I hope you’re happy with someone too…
Jumbs: Yuh know the only one I want is now taken…
Cranks: (Irritated Chupse)
Jumbs: Muffin….
Cranks: So what you saying if I was single we’d get together?
Jumbs: Cranks, I say what I say, Yuh hear, what I hear…..
Cranks: (Willing to call the bluff) Well, in that case, he and I just met, and I still care about you, obviously, so fine, you want to do this?
Jumbs: (Pin drop silence)
Cranks: Hello???
Jumbs: But I thought you were dating Lumsden..
Cranks: As I said, we are just getting to know each other, he’s sweet but you and I have history, I’d be willing to give it another go…
Jumbs: (More pin drop silence)
Cranks: This is exactly why you’re a Jumbie…(at which point my voice goes up a few decibels) Don’t call me with your ole talk, don’t tell you missed me, Don’t ask about my new boyfriend….when you think back in ten years why you ended up all alone, remember it was because you didn’t have any words….
Jumbs: Cranks…come on, yuh know how we is…
Cranks: Click!

Post Script: MU understands completely….

The Problem with MUB's

When Jumbie got back, he called, and called, and called, and showed up at work, and called….

Simultaneously things with Newbie went downhill. He went from calling and interested to an odd text here and there, asking if alls well. Alls well that ends well……

However all the calling from Jumbie presented a problem. I haven’t yet developed the ability to ignore him completely, so instead (being as brilliant as I am,) I made up a boyfriend (MU aka Made Up). MU’s a nice guy, very loving and half Indian/half Thai (don’t even ask me why this particular combination came up as part of my lil fantasy.)

The trouble with making things up is that there is such an unlimited amount of possibility in the attributes and behaviors this ‘person’ can have. For instance MU loves to hold my hand, calls me everyday without fail, and gets along swimmingly with my friends. He’s a swell guy.

Jumbie upon being presented with this information nicknamed him Lumsden, which he claims is the name of some Buddhist priest. So now every other day he calls to ask how Lumsden is, etc. etc.

The problem arose around the fact that none of our mutual friends knew about MU and so to legitimize the whole scenario, I had to present him to a few targeted friends. Now everyday people message me to ask how it’s going. Moreover everyone seems a little too shocked for my comfort. Most were surprised that I had moved on. Too many exhibited stunned silence and questioned me suspiciously, a few expressed sadness at missing out on the opportunity to date me quote ‘we all thought you were still hung up over Jumbie.’

O the real problems will begin when people want to meet him….

Sigh the things one does to get over ex’s

(my apologies to Jumbs for the duplicity of names)

My Dearest Would-Be:

It’s been a while.

You’ve been on mind lately.

You tend to be on my mind when everything else goes to the shits.

Turns out I am high strung Would be. (I know sweetness, I’m a little shocked too.) All this time I’ve been going around suspecting that I may be high maintenance (sort of like that line in ‘When Harry met Sally,’ “you’re the worst kind, the kind of girl, the kind who thinks she’s low maintenance but is infact very high maintenance.)

But High Strung? Who knew? You see the other day I made a startling discovery. I realized that I (shock of all shocks) maintain myself. I own my own house (with the bank,) buy my own Banana Republic suits, take myself to dinner, dancing and the movies. Would Be, I am ridiculously self sufficient. Why I almost cried when I realized that I don’t require any maintenance.

Then I read the definition of a ‘high strung’ person, defined as someone having an extremely nervous or sensitive temperament. My recently developed nervous ticks, inability to breathe properly and generally increasing levels of anxiety came to mind. Would be, I am a high strung lover.

You see Would be while I don’t require any of the monetary maintenance, I crave the other stuff. In HR we call these soft rewards; the touchy feely stuff that increase your retention and make for a happier, more productive work force. These strategies include: an articulated, coaching and mentoring process, i.e. weekly one on one’s with your boss to talk about your future in the company, an employee of the month prize, a pat on the back for a job well done, true empathy for difficult personal situations.

Some people are motivated by the money, in a relationship’s case, by the end goal, marriage, sex, a really good settlement. Would be, I appear to be motivated by the soft rewards, the altruistic kindness of a partner, in listening to your most boring thought with keen interest, the hug when they walk in the door, the little unique language that you develop between each other.

Thus Would Be, It would appear that whilst I need you to be a generally nice person, who is good looking and has a hot bod, I also need you to be able to convince me to do the whole relationship thing. I need you to articulate the benefits.

Oh this whole post is making me twitch.

CP

A Win, Is A Win, Is A Win!

When I was fifteen, chain letters were all the rage in Dubai.


I remember reading my first one. A crisp envelope, with my name scrawled on the front, and a thin piece of paper, so fine, you could see through it; with a terse message that I was chosen from millions, to spread the ever important message, and then a dire warning that should I not send out the letter as per instructions to five complete strangers, I was leaving myself open to fate so tragic, Romeo and Juliet would seem like chumps.

Today, a new chain letter is going around; simply known as a ‘blogger award.’ The awards have many names, and are given out with the simple rule, pay it forward. To an unsuspecting newbie blogger, these awards may seem a smidge …dare I say it….chain letter esque….sure there is no promise of a tragic fate for non compliance, however there is the implied ungratefulness. And worse yet, these awards seem to reek with the stench of HR-ness: meaningless self recognition awards, dolled out to the masses, a shoddy substitute for the lack of a formal Oscar styled blogger award show with real prizes (think trip to Vegas.)

Ahh you silly newbies, how dare you over analyze any form of recognition....afterall 'A Win, is a Win, Is A Win.'

Yesterday I won A Premio Dartz award.

According to my giver Deb. S. of Media by S. Trunk….. Premio Dardos means “prize darts” in Spanish. It is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. I was amongst 15 other grand winners (suspiciously at the end of the list…but a win is a win, is a win)

Thank you Lady Deb… after all I’ve been a slack blogger for the past year, peppering in words when it suits me, lurking and commenting if the mood hits, I haven’t been exactly churning out substance….

Thus the recognition is humbling! Deb, the kind recognition you’ve given me is a blogger’s greatest incentive…..a new mind to enchant.

To that end, I will take creative license (think Chinese whispers) to change up the rules.

I nominate my favourite 3 blogs, A few Oldies but Goodies:

Jdid: For your lovely patwa, reading your blogs at work make me laugh so hard, that even with my closed office door, people enquire a few hours later if I am okay.

Leon: Your thoughts on stuff, teaches me about the most random and interesting stuff out there.

Simple Enigma: last but certainly not least my funny girl SE, her dating stories make me feel less alone in the jungle of daters, her Friday thoughts give me pause, to reflect and think about going beyond myself….

Go forth Winners, and Spread the Joy!