To the Society Responsible for the production and enforcement of Underwear:

It has come to my attention that wearing underwear is now seen as optional for young Hollywood socialites like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

Possible explanations:
-A dire need for constant air circulation
-Freedom from the constraints of spandex
-A protest to years of suffering for women forced to wear pieces of cloth that ride up their backside on purpose
-It’s a new fad, and everyone’s doing it….(said in sulky teenage voice)

Seeing a nipple out for a walk is one thing, seeing a girl’s beaver is whole other issue. For sure there are those out there (ahem Ahem ~men of the world) who are embracing this new trend. However, as a woman, I must protest that this will lead to some unreasonable expectations for us.

It will require us to:

-invest heavily in Brazilian waxes. (Do you have any idea the pain and psychological trauma involved?)
-it is highly inconvenient to follow this trend in Canada….my lady would freeze to death…
-Like mini skirts and skinny jeans, it can be an unflattering trend on many

I think it is imperative that a member of your society has a serious talk with these girls.

Make haste the warmth and conservation of the precious beaver is at stake,

Sincerely,

CP